Essay: Nacho Literature - Maxim Magazine

March 15, 2013 Nachonomics

All I can think of is her as a child, and then I feel gross inside.

The Acme Corporation. We’ve seen their anvils crush cartoon characters for years, but they’re not a very menacing fake company. Weyland-Yutani, Yoyodyne, Omni Consumer Products, the Tyrell Corporation, Cyberdyne Systems, now those are much more ominous fake organizations. But then there is the Quadrangle Group, the Alpha Media Group, and Cerberus Capital Management. What if I told you that these three were real corporations? What if I told you that they produced Maxim Magazine, known as either “The Gentleman’s Playboy” or “Like Hustler, but it wouldn’t be weird to read it around your Grandmother”? What if I told you that in addition to having pictures of tasteful scantily clad women they occasionally wrote about nachos?

Video: No Reservations on location in Piedras Negras

March 5, 2013 Nachonomics

If you think of badasses in the professional culinary world, you may think of someone like Gordon Ramsey, or the self proclaimed bad boy Guy Fieri. You shouldn’t though, because they’re complete babies. Did you know that Julia Child worked for the OSS in World War Two? Pretty badass huh? Did you also know that chef Anthony Bourdain was pretty much the Hunter S. Thompson of the cooking world when it came to the volume of drugs consumed? Not quite as badass as the OSS, but I couldn’t find a video of Julia Child going to Mexico and speaking with the son of the man who invented the nacho, so we’re going to focus on Bourdain’s show No Reservations.

Essay: United States of Nachos: The Guy Fieriing of Food Reality Television

February 27, 2013 Nachonomics

While flipping through the TV channels the other day I stumbled across the station “Destination America”, which not only did I not know was part of my cable package but also did not even know existed. What I witnessed upon the screen amounted to the fever dreams of an overly caffeinated child, an overly caffeinated child who has never fed upon any food other than bacon. This is not in a good thing.

Essay: Nacho Regrets - Bigfoot Food and Spirits

February 15, 2013 Nachonomics

Sexy Bigfoot picture courtesy of our friends over at The Intoxfiles.

When it comes to the world of cryptids (Creatures whose existence is rumored but not yet substantiated by science) the most famous is undoubtedly The Loch Ness Monster. That’s an honorable win, but coming in at a close second, standing proudly in the silver spot, would have to be the Bigfoot/Abominable Snowman class of humanoids. Ranging from six to ten feet in height and covered in thick hair, stories of Wildmen are found amongst the mythology of indigenous peoples world wide, leading to speculation that they’re surviving offshoots of the ape or human species, such as the Gigantopithecus, or possibly interdimensional beings. Needless to say, many questions about the wild creatures remain. What are they? Do they actually exist? How have they remained hidden for so long? What are their favorite type of nachos?

Essay: Nacho Science - Nachos in Space

February 5, 2013 Nachonomics

"Variety is the Spice - corn chip, salsa, mushroom pate and jalapeno, floating weightless." - Commander Chris Hadfield

Recently a nacho photo has surfaced unlike any other seen before on Earth, BECAUSE IT WAS NOT TAKEN ON THIS EARTHLY SPHERE! I wish I could tell you we received an alien transmission that when decoded turned out to be a photo of a plate of nachos on a distant planet under the light of two strange suns, but alas, we must stick with human photos for now. The picture in question was taken by Commander Chris Hadfield aboard the International Space Station and features a topping covered corn chip floating in zero gravity, or, if you don’t believe “The Conspiracy”, he’s just taking a photo of a chip he threw in the air to make it look like it was floating. Nachos in space. Man, nacho inventor Ignacio Anaya’s skeleton is probably shedding a tear of joy right now.