Homemade Corn Tortilla Chips, Black Beans, Native Taco Meat, Native Chipotle Crema, Native Cheese, Salsa Fresca, Guacamole, Corn, Green Onions, Cilantro and Jalapenos
Listen, you may put the "carne" in "carnivore", but do you know anything about vegan food? More importantly, do you know anything about vegan NACHOS? I know I don't, and that's why our guest reviewer is here to offer us a vegan view.
Read More
Beef, Chicken, Refried Beans, Shredded Cheese, Queso, Lettuce, Tomatoes, Sour Cream
Sometimes in life you find yourself driving up a lonesome highway when you get a hunger in your body, nay, your soul, for nachos. In a past time you may have had to drive around at random in search of a restaurant, no idea whether you might find one or not. No longer. Thanks to the miracle of technology you can just look on your phone and mexican restaurants will appear from the ether, but not if you’re driving in NY state like I was though because cell phone use while operating a vehicle is illegal. The moral of this story however is that’s how I ended up at Pancho’s Authentic Mexican Restaurant in Clifton Park.
Read More
Now I admit it, I don't know you super well so you might be the sort of person who frequently encounters 4,000 postcards at once, but I'm not and thusly looking at almost 60 lbs of postcards is kind of a big deal to me. This is 80% of our upcoming "Bienvenidos a Piedras Negras!" card set, and also the pamphlet "A Guide to Rating Nachos", which is not related to our upcoming "The Field Guide to Nachos". All of these will be available to order in the next few months but we wanted to give you a sneak peek at the cards now.
Ignacio vs. Camazotz
IGNACIO vs. CAMAZOTZ: This card features an image of the incredible battle between nacho creator Ignacio Anaya and Camaztoz, the Mayan God of Vampire Bats. Art by Richard Luong (Website) who sells some amazing works of Lovecraftian horror.
Mictecacihuatl
MICTECACIHUATL: A lovely painting of Miss Piedras Negras, Mictecacihuatl, the Queen of the Underworld. Art by Ryan Veeder (Website) who is the author of MOTORCYCLUS, and a stand up gentleman.
Raul Alhazredo writes The Nachonomicon
RAUL ALHAZREDO WRITES THE NACHONOMICON: A 15th century woodcut of the "mad monk" Raul Alhazredo writing The Nachonomicon. Art by Dex Gormenghast (Website) a stand up gentlemen and contributor to Nachonomics.
Ignacio Anaya
IGNACIO ANAYA: Rare photograph of Ignacio Anaya circa. 1950 seen here stopping to smell the flowers.
All of these, plus the as yet to be revealed/completed 5th card, AND THE FIELD GUIDE TO NACHOS, should be available right here in the upcoming months, so keep your eyes peeled and your credit card ready!
15th century woodcut of “The Mad Monk” Raul Alhazredo having The Nachonomicon dictated to him by a mysterious stranger.
While little is known about The Nachonomicon, the unspeakable book of all nacho knowledge that man was not meant to know, other than of its unseemly reputation, even less is known about its author, “The Mad Monk” Raul Alhazredo.
Alhazredo was said to have been a missionary who came over from Europe during the Spanish conquest of Mexico in the 1500’s with the singular goal of converting the heathens of the New World to Christianity. He immediately set out to spread the word of The Lord to the darkest corners of Mexico, ignoring the warnings of the natives as pagan superstition, only to find himself slowly slipping into insanity as his faith in both religion and humankind was rocked by encounters with the otherworldly things which dwelt there. His final expedition of conversion was to find the fabled city of Aztlán which was rumored to be located somewhere in the vast Chihuahuan Desert, but it was a journey he would return from barely alive, his mind reeling.
No one knew if he managed to find Aztlán, or what happened to him there if he did, as his ramblings as he stumbled back into town were barely intelligible at best, and questioning-man’s-place-in-the-universe terrifying at worst. There were mutterings of him encountering the Tlazolteotl Bruja Cults, consulting with pus and stabbing demons, and all around acting very unmonklike. He retreated from the church in town where he had previously slept and took up in an abandoned shack deep in the Sierra Madres.
Infrequently he would return to town to buy strange herbs and spices and was rumored to be compiling a book of unspeakable cooking methods with hints of a legendary food that would reshape the face of the world. Local chefs would refuse to sell to him and children would avoid the area of his shack after sundown. Townsfolk claimed they could hear strange chanting and noises coming from its direction on nights of the full moon, as well as long, strange, footprints originating from nowhere and heading in its general direction.
The story of his death, torn apart by invisible creatures in the middle of a restaurant in town, is an obvious exaggeration and most likely a cover for his murder at the hands of the fed up and superstitious locals, what is fact is that his remains were deep fried in oil and left out in the desert for the beasts to consume. Afterwards a few brave townsfolk went up to his shack in the mountains only to find pages upon pages of a manuscript labeled as El Libro De Sabrosos Nachos (The Book of Delicious Nachos) and a large hole in the floor of it leading down into an inky black cave system. a few of the most foolish men climbed down into it and found the cavern crawling with gigantic mezcal worms, and a slimy hole dropping down into utter blackness from which no bottom could be determined. After a torch was dropped down and disappeared a maniacal laughter could be heard issuing from it and they quickly fled the scene. They used black powder to destroy the entrance of the cavern and burnt the house to the ground. Finally clear of “The Mad Monk”, the town celebrated with a gigantic fiesta in the town square, which was quickly silenced as a massive sinkhole swallowed it whole.
But the cleansing fire did not destroy all as at least one copy of the blasphemous El Libro De Sabrosos Nachos survived the blaze and made its way to Europe to be translated by numerous practitioners of the Dark Culinary Arts and renamed The Nachonomicon. While it can not be confirmed, Hákral, Balut, and Tacos de Nana are all recipes rumored to have sprung from the madness of the foul tome. Most disturbing though, while not explicitly mentioned, the fingerprints of nachos are all over the pages of the grimoire, detectable not in their presence, but instead in their absence. While most of the recipes seem to be secreted away, foodstuffs such as the Turducken and KFC’s The Double Down are proof that some of its content is still slipping out. Woe to the chef that tries to make some of its most advanced recipes, and god help us if someone like Guy Fieri gets his hands on a copy...
The Jean Paul Baptiste D’Ys de Gevaudan translation of The Nachonomicon on display in the dangerous books section in the Library of Congress.
Happy 4th of July folks, or for the sake of writing about food, 4th of CHEW-ly! Ah, cracks me up every time... Anyhow, you should be out at a BBQ and not sitting here in front of a comp reading about nachos, but if you want to COMBINE the two you are welcome to check out our fantastic recipe for PATRIOTIC NACHOS which will truly make you the George Washington of the BBQ. Don't blow your fingers off tonight and enjoy patriotism on us.
