Review: Rogue Island Local Kitchen and Bar

March 15, 2016 Derek Sotak

Pulled Pork, Pickled Red Onion, Sour Cream, Pico de Gallo, Cilantro, Vermont Cheddar

Providence “The Beehive of Industry” Rhode Island is a city I have ventured to many a time in search of the finest nachos they have to offer, though almost exclusively under the guise of NACHOPROVICON, which in turn is a way to combine some work and pleasure while attending NECRONOMICON. It’s not every year that we can celebrate the holiday of NACHOPROVICON, because it’s not a holiday, and it doesn’t occur every year. Now, while this was not an officially sanctioned NACHOPROVICON, any time one goes to Providence with the purpose of sampling some nachos while indulging in some sort of H.P. Lovecraft event, they can become possessed by the spirit of NACHOPROVICON, which is almost as good. So on this, the 79th anniversary of HPL’s death, let’s take a little trip down to Providence.

Hot Sauce and Hot Pics

March 5, 2016 Nachonomics

This past week I had a little accident while trying to eat some lunch. I had a bag of premade Dole Southwest Salad and was planning on gussying it up with a little hot sauce, namely some homemade habanero hot sauce that had been made several months prior. Only problem is that when you have a sauce that works via fermenting, then you leave it alone in a fridge for months causing it to separate, and then you shake it up, it becomes pressurized. Now when you keep it in a glass container you can’t noticeably feel this happening, so when you open it up it is very easy to be surprised when it explodes upwards in a cloud of habanero gas which ends up in your eyes and you spend the next 5 minutes wondering if you’ve been permanently blinded. Fortunately I wasn’t and learned that I should just stick to nachos and not dabble in “salads”.

Anyhow, we have talked a little bit about hot sauce here, and in space, and covered capsaicin thoroughly in The Field Guide to Nachos, but what you should be checking out is the Illustrated History of Hot Sauces over on Nachonomics favorite First We Feast, because frankly they are killing it on the hot sauce history.

In other cryptic nacho news, allow me to present you with this image, the viewing of which is the beginning of a mysterious experience fit for a gift from The Mysterious Package Company. Could it be the beginning of something beautiful, or go absolutely nowhere at all? Only time will tell!

Review: Lunchables Uploaded Nacho Walking Taco

February 25, 2016 Derek Sotak

While nachos are one of my favorite things to talk about, it’s not often that I get to talk on here about my OTHER favorite things. Sure, every few years I get to go off on H. P. Lovecraft during NachoProviCon, but never before have I had a chance to talk about one of my favorite actors, A Clockwork Orange star, Malcolm McDowell. Until now that is, when I coincidentally chose a nacho product he happened to be the spokesperson for. So without further ado, “Today we will be preparing Lunchables Uploaded Walking Tacos.”

Obligatory Valentine's Day Post

February 14, 2016 Nachonomics

When people think of the heart, typically on days like Valentine's or during a break up or quadruple bypass, they typically envision the classic upturned butt shape with a triangle below it rather than the fist sized pumping organ that dwells within us all. This is fine, as after all organs are gross and don't really get one in the mood for love, and if they do you should consult psychiatric help ASAP least the police find you in the pit full of dismembered body parts you are living in while you chow down on heart after heart of your unlucky victims. Every now and then you should think of your heart though, especially as a nacho fan for the dish itself is not the most heart healthy. This Valentine's Day, give your loved one the ultimate gift, get your heart checked out to make sure you aren't at risk of a heart attack from the massive amount of nachos you consume. 610,000 heart related deaths occur a year in the United States so be sure to take care of yourself, because you don't want Death to be your date for Valentine's. The more you know, play theme twinkle.

Review: Mama Kwan's Grill and Tiki Bar

February 5, 2016 Derek Sotak

Crisp Nacho Chips, Blackened Tuna, Cheese, Greens, Cabbage, Red Onion, Tomato, Scallions, Lime Sour Cream, Salsa

Have you ever wanted to eat at a Tiki Bar? Have you ever wanted to eat fish on your nachos? Have you ever wanted to drink a drink out of the trepanned skull of a monkey? Well, if you happen to be down in North Carolina’s Outer Banks, now you can!