Review: Lakeside Bar & Grill

March 5, 2019 Nachonomics

Tortilla Chips, Melted Cheese, Diced Tomatoes, Black Olives, Jalapeños, Sour Cream, Salsa, Guacamole, Chicken, Chili

We’ve all got that one restaurant in town. You know the one I’m talking about, it seems like it’s been there forever, it always looks like it’s busy, and yet neither you or anyone you know has ever been there? Your town undoubtedly has one, or even several, places like these, and one day you might even go there. I sure did, because if I hadn’t none of this intro would have been related to the review for Lakeside Bar & Grill, and have to say that I certainly got some nachos.

Review: Flamin' Hot Nacho Doritos

February 25, 2019 Nachonomics

The problem with mainstream companies trying to make a so-hot-it-will-kill-you food is that it cannot actually be as hot as advertised lest it scare off the masses; Wendy’s short lived Ghost Pepper Fries for example. Those were smothered in a “ghost pepper sauce” that was entirely edible for regular folk, but was a real disappointment for the true kwisatz haderach spice heads looking to burn holes in their palette. If they had gone with a sauce that unleashed the true power of ghost peppers their restaurant dining rooms would be full of corpses with fiery holes in their throats, which is why they went with a more Scoville unit friendly interpretation of the food. With disappointments like that I fully expected “Flamin’ Hot Nacho Doritos” to just be flavorful, but ultimately nothing to write home about. But…

2019 Obligatory Valentine's Day Nachos

February 14, 2019 Nachonomics

What is love? Baby, don’t hurt me, but love is like an order of nachos. Many a poet over many a year has tried to compare love to many a thing, from vegetation to minerals to animals. ALL ARE INCORRECT. Love is nachos or it is nothing. Why? It has a firm, crunchy foundation. If there is not the proper amount of cheese, you screwed it up. Every now and then you get a really spicy bit. You can keep going back for more and more and it’s never enough. Sometimes beans and cilantro get stuck in your teeth. It’s better if covered in guacamole. Don’t go looking for it at a 7-11. Anyhow, I think you know what I’m getting at here, so just copy-paste the above into a Valentine’s card and you’ll be all set for the year with your lover, guarenteed.

ANOTHER SUPER BOWL!!!

February 3, 2019 Nachonomics

It’s that time of year again: the time when there’s the big game in that sport you don’t follow with one team you don’t know and another you don’t like. The other possibility is that it’s your favorite sport and your two favorite teams are playing so that no matter which wins, you win! Either way, here we are, ANOTHER Super Bowl Sunday, and you need to be making some nachos ASAP for your big ol' party tonight. Foolishly you STILL have not picked up a copy of Recipes from the Nachonomicon, and no way would it get to you by tonight even if you ordered it now (but you should still try), so what are you going to do?

Last year we spoke of the benefits of one Harley Morenstein and Epic Meal Time when it comes to gigantic volumes of a certain food, such as the above $1,296/399,593 calorie nacho meal. Harley you may have sen in such films as Kevin Smith’s Tusk, or Kevin Smith’s Yoga Hosers, or the Kevin Smith segment of Holidays, and is definitely a character who doesn’t get enough credit, but perhaps you can spiritually do so by checking out any of the somewhat more reasonable nacho recipes below? Or just go crazy and spend the $1,296, because you probably have a tax return coming right? Go Football!

Harry Potter Nachos?

January 25, 2019 Nachonomics

When it comes to Star Wars I might not be an expert, but I can tell my Jar-Jar from my Tauntaun, because I was a child when those came out. Children remember stuff like that and dinosaur names and truck types and whatever you have space in your head for when you don’t need to worry about a job or a life. I was not a child when Harry Potter came out, but I still read all those books and watched the movies because I am a human being living in America following the cultural wave that was the whole wizarding phenomena. That being said, I couldn’t tell you a whole lot about the ol’ Potterverse mythos, but I am aware of the non-alcoholic wizard beer for wizard children known as “Butterbeer”. That’s right, just because you’re a wizard child who doesn’t drink Coke products doesn’t mean you can’t get diabetes or heart problems. Now though, or the end of the month rather, you as well can also get diabetes and heart problems, along with nachos, at a Butterbeer and Nacho food truck!