I was recently driving through Philadelphia, where the sun is always sunny and the Mutter museums always are filled with medical oddities, when I felt a tingling in my nacho gland. A nerd might call it a disturbance in the Force, but really it was more like what Highlanders or Golden Girls in close proximity feel. Knowing that there can be only one nacho expert and with the promise of a Nacho Quickening at hand, I consulted the seventh sense nachos grow in the brain of anyone who consumes them and headed in the direction of the nachoness.
Read MoreReview: I Got Your Crabs
Blue Crab, Onions, Tomatoes, Creamy Cheese Sauce, Scallions
If you’re on vacation somewhere strange and looking for a place to eat, typically you’ll just stop at the first location you see that looks good. That said, restaurants have mere seconds as you drive by them to try to draw you in and therefor need to do anything they can to attract your attention. Gaudy paint job, unusual decor, or double entendre name with toeing the line sexual connotations are the typical ways to go, the latter being one of the most successful ways. Hooters, Salty Dick’s, Gonorrhea: The Restaurant, all places that could have caught my eye and sucked me in, but no. Today it way “I Got Your Crabs” that took my fancy, particularly because I felt bad for giving them crabs*.
Read MoreEnd of Nacho Days: NachoProviCon 2015: Day Four
The day was gross and grey ass as a day could be. The kind of day only a fish man hybrid could love. It seemed to know that it was an end of an era, an era of man living off of not but nachos for three days, if what you can call the biological distress that my body was experiencing living that is. Perhaps there comes a time in a man's life when he gets into the golden years of the thirties where their body is no longer in the shape required to process a nonstop barrage of cheese, grease, salt, carbs, and all other sorts of delicious glop. Or maybe I just don't have what it takes anymore to and the weakness is in my stomach alone...
Read MoreWretched Wracism: NachoProviCon 2015: Day Three
As you can see, tentacles are the city over just waiting for the start to be right and to tentacle you I guess. These seem to be after some Stella Artois, but to each tentacle their own. I searched and searched to find a location here with squid nachos, but alas, Providence obviously cares nothing about the content of the writings of its most famous/racist author.
Read MoreBob Price's Honey Voice: NachoProviCon 2015: Day Two
The day started off strong. The first panel of the day featured one Robert M. Price, a man whose mellifluous voice sounds like honey poured over gravel. So mellifluous... mellifluous...
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