You ever have one of those days where you end up working for 10 and a half straight hours and then when you leave are exhausted but see that The Shining is playing at a theater nearby in an hour so you drive and get there thirty minutes early only to find that the app you used to check movie times was wrong and it is actually starting in two hours so now you’ve got an hour and a half to kill and the restaurant in the actual theater doesn’t have nachos so you walk over to the nearby Red Robin to get a burger because you didn’t think they had nachos but it turns out that they actually do so you figure you have to get them because you write for a nacho review site and you need to try new nachos because that’s how you generate reviews?

In America’s second spookiest town after Silent Hill, across the street from the statue of Elizabeth Montgomery riding a broom, lies the famous Daniel Low Building. Formerly a church, the building became a department store in 1874 and became famous for their souvenir “Witch Spoons”. Sadly though, one cannot stay in business on spoons alone, especially if you’re not a spoon specific store, and Daniel Low & Co eventually closed its doors. These same doors (maybe they replaced the doors, idk) were later reopened as Rockafellas, “A PREMIER CASUAL RESTAURANT IN HISTORIC DOWNTOWN SALEM, MA WITH SUPERIOR FOOD, DRINKS, ENTERTAINMENT AND SERVICE.” And also Nachos Rockafellas, which are not to be confused with Nachos Rockefeller, which are a play on Oysters Rockefeller that probably doesn’t exist. Oh, and also THE HELLTINI.

A few weeks ago we examined the relative spiciness of the new “Flamin’ Hot Nacho Doritos” and how they were, while not “spicy” spicy, definitely more spicy than anything else you would find in a grocery store. Apparently the grocery store heard me and said, “hold my beer” as I now have to reexamine that statement while a new contender enters the ring. Enter an even spicier chip, one laced with the spookiest pepper on earth, the ghost pepper. Actually these chips are even spookier because not only are they ghost pepper chips, they are Haunted Ghost Pepper Chips.

We’ve all got that one restaurant in town. You know the one I’m talking about, it seems like it’s been there forever, it always looks like it’s busy, and yet neither you or anyone you know has ever been there? Your town undoubtedly has one, or even several, places like these, and one day you might even go there. I sure did, because if I hadn’t none of this intro would have been related to the review for Lakeside Bar & Grill, and have to say that I certainly got some nachos.