The problem with mainstream companies trying to make a so-hot-it-will-kill-you food is that it cannot actually be as hot as advertised lest it scare off the masses; Wendy’s short lived Ghost Pepper Fries for example. Those were smothered in a “ghost pepper sauce” that was entirely edible for regular folk, but was a real disappointment for the true kwisatz haderach spice heads looking to burn holes in their palette. If they had gone with a sauce that unleashed the true power of ghost peppers their restaurant dining rooms would be full of corpses with fiery holes in their throats, which is why they went with a more Scoville unit friendly interpretation of the food. With disappointments like that I fully expected “Flamin’ Hot Nacho Doritos” to just be flavorful, but ultimately nothing to write home about. But…
I’m not going to say that these chips are spicy, because they’re not. if you eat these and then eat a jalapeno, there is no contest on which would win hands down. But, if you eat a few of these crunchy fellas your tongue does get a pleasant little tingle I was not expecting. It’s probably more a flavor overload than anything that is going to leave you gasping for a pepto bismol milkshake, but in this world where I’m really just hoping for anything that is going to make me feel alive anymore, it sure turned my day from dubious to salubrious.
Perhaps the most impressive part of the whole “Flamin’ Hot” saga is that the flavor was invented by a janitor at Frito-Lays, Richard Montañez. Back when only regular flavored Cheetos existed, the company CEO expressed in a video that he expected all employees to really make a difference and make the place better, because why not get every drop of blood out of those employee stones. Montañez took this to heart though and went to him with a flavor idea based on toppings street corn vendors used, and thus the “Flamin’ Hot Cheeto” was born. But why stop at Flamin’ Hot Cheetos when you can make an easy move into Flamin’ Hot Fritos, Flamin’ Hot Funyuns, and Flamin’ Hot Nacho Doritos? If you would like to know more about how the “Flamin’ Hot” flavor designation came to be, you can see the upcoming biopic all about Montañez’s rise to glory when “Flamin’ Hot” graces the big screen.
If you really want a chip that will set your blood ablaze there is an option for you. The chip company Paqui gained notoriety in 2016 for selling single Carolina Reaper flavored chips in tiny coffins, so they seem to know a thing or two about colon-flambéing heat. If you’re not looking to have burning blasts shuddering through you in the reg though, they also make a “Haunted Ghost Pepper” chip that I’m sure will set your tongue aflame in just a living-on-the-edge-yolo kind of way, but also not cause you to miss work from gastrointestinal calamity. As for something you can find in your typical grocery store though, I don’t think you’ll find anything there that extreme, but you can certainly do a lot worse than Flamin’ Hot Nacho Doritos.