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The Business of Nachos
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The Business of Nachos

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Chip of News: Spontaneous Chip Combustion

August 5, 2018 Nachonomics

We all remember the legendary story of Mary Reeser, the 67 year old Florida woman who is the most well known victim of Spontaneous Human Combustion, or SHC. Not much is known about the reason why a human body might for no reason just burst into flames, but the condition was first proposed in 1746, meaning humans have been living in fear of it for nigh on 300 years. As little as there is known about SHC though, there is even less known about SCC, also known as Spontaneous Chip Combustion.

Recently the fire department of Austin Texas had an encounter with tortilla chips of an extraordinary sort. Apparently there were some boxes of tortilla chips outside a factory that spontaneously exploded into fire for no discernible reason!  If that wasn’t creepy enough, a mere three days later ANOTHER bunch of tortilla chips exploded into flames outside the very same factory! Now either this factory is the testing grounds of a new brand of weaponized chips so spicy that the flames manifest themselves into reality, or there is something truly supernatural going on...

You can read the details directly from the fire department here, and let them be a warning to you. Just because we can make chips that will metaphorically catch fire in your mouth, doesn’t mean that they might not also literally catch fire in your mouth as well. We are now 67 years since the death of Mary Reeser, who has now been dead for as long as she was alive, and we still have no answer to what happened to her. I imagine that if we could go back and examine that crime scene, maybe there would be a stray tortilla chip or two around the heap of ashes that she had once been that might give an idea...

In 2018 Tags Chip of News
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Essay: Don’t Like Cilantro? You’re A Genetic Monstrosity

July 25, 2018 Nachonomics

Coriander. Chinese Parsley. The Devil’s Dill. God’s Basil. Oregano’s Mustard Grass Cardamom. No matter the name it goes by, when it comes to nachos there is no more divisive a topping than the famous/infamous CILANTRO. One could argue that lettuce (acceptable in some nacho situations) or black olives (never to be used due to tasting like an old ashtray) are controversial as well, but as you can see I just resolved those arguments. No, cilantro, an herb disliked by even the great Julia Child herself, is a problem not quite so easily resolved.

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In 2018 Tags Essay
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Review: Taqueria Diana

July 15, 2018 Nachonomics

Fresh Tortilla Chips, Cheese, Black Beans, Salsa, Carnitas, Guacamole, Crema

New York City. The Big Apple. The City of Dreams. The Capital of the World. The City So Nice, They Named it Twice. The Center of The Universe. The City That Never Sleeps. The Empire City. The Five Boroughs. Fun City. Gotham. The Melting Pot. Metropolis. New Amsterdam. The Modern Gomorrah. Those are all the names Wikipedia informed me that New York City is known by, but what Wikipedia doesn’t tell you is that there are also restaurants that sell nachos there. I wouldn’t know though, because when I visited I didn’t get any.

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In 2018 Tags Review
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Jesus Loves Nachos (TM)

June 25, 2018 Nachonomics

I don't know if you were aware of it or not, but Jesus Loves Nachos. Someone spray-painted that on to a bridge in Katherine, Northern Territories, Australia, so now it must be true. Such a true thing in fact that it has even been trade marked!

Appearing sometime in the 1980's, the artist behind it is unknown, but believed to be a member of the local Tapp family. A belief I might add that becomes more sketchy and likely as the woman who trade marked it happens to be local author and town councilor Toni TAPP Coutts. Coincidence? Ask the woman who now plans on making some fat cash on shirts and tea towels bearing the slogan.

WWJD? Love nachos at a minimum. Trade Mark his love for them, even under the guise of promoting tourism in the area? I think not. Jesus certainly wouldn't have allegedly had a member of their family jack up an area with grafitti, and then spend years and untold Australian dollars getting the rights to it, as is written in Colossians 3:14. Read it, it's there.

So far as slogans for Northern Territories go, it's better than "Most likely place to be eaten by a Saltwater Crocodile" or the, and I kid you not here, "C U in the NT", but not great. Now if there was a nacho restaurant there, then that would be a slam dunk, but trying to sell a region on that? Not so much. Of course I say all this and joke, but if I ever take a 54 hour ride on The Ghan from Adilade to Darwin, there will be one little town in Norther Territories I'll definitely be stopping at. I may even pick up a tea towel while I'm there.

In 2018
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Review: 7-Eleven Nachos

June 15, 2018 Nachonomics

Chips, Nacho Cheese, Pickled Jalapenos, Salsa, Diced Tomatoes, Diced Onions

Recently we here at Nachonomics learned the existence of the $2 7-Eleven tater totcho bar, which lead to a going on month and a half search for a store location carrying them. We searched high and searched low, but to no avail, our hunger for SOMETHING nachoey growing with every passing day. No one can hold out against a nacho shortage as this for long, and soon the time came when we had to say enough is enough. We were only human, and 7-Eleven’s regular nachos were close enough right? Right?

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In 2018 Tags Review
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Nachonomics: ('na-cho-'na-miks)

noun. The branch of knowledge concerned with the production, consumption, and distribution of nachos.

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