Nope, it’s not a how to book on the art of ohaguro, just a story of a bunch of rich a-holes shacked up in a haunted Japanese mansion. The gang reads the first half of “Nothing But Blackened Teeth” and are marveled by prose so purple even Lovecraft would say to tone it down a little. Derek also educates JR on Kappas, but neglects to mention their love of mythical anus organs. Japanese mythology folks!
Episode 257 - All The Moons (2020)
How many moons is too many moons? If you’re an immortal vampire, the 2020 Basque language film Ilargi Guztiak (known to you as All The Moons) says the answer is about 75 years worth. Learn a bit about the culture of the Basque region with the boys as they have a little garlic soup, join a secret culinary society, and enjoy this interesting take on the vampire story.
Episode 256 - Extra Ordinary (2019)
To quote the film, “It ain’t extraordinary, it’s Extra Ordinary.” Saying that it is “Extra Ordinary” is more of a sleight than this 2019 horror-comedy deserves, but also “extraordinary” is too much praise. How much does it deserve? Come to find out, but stay for the hot McGruber talk!
Episode 255 - The Spine of Night (2021)
It’s simple, you eat the blue flower, you get some magic or knowledge or something, you turn into a God Emperor. What’s hard to understand about that? 2021’s animated film The Spine of Night will remind you of the bitchin’ mural on the side of your uncle’s van, but with the rotoscoping magic of a Ralph Bakshi movie. But is this more akin to a Heavy Metal, or a Heavy Metal 2000?
Episode 254 - The Night House (2020)
Not too many of us can build a house on our own, but how many of us can build a REVERSE house? Maybe that's a Night House? The film isn't entirely clear on this, but what is clear is the gang's opinion on this critically acclaimed flop. Dare you pay the property taxes on The Night House? It's a lake property so it's going to be pricey...
Classic THoNaH: Episode 93 - The Black Spider, Part 2
Back with a new episode next week, but until then there is more black spider. How much more? More than you can spill a bowl of wedding soup on while a spider lights your head on fire. And you thought a 200 year old book would be boring.
Classic THoNaH: Episode 92 - The Black Spider, Part 1
Due to unforeseen circumstances no new episode this week, however we bring this classic back to mooch off the announcement of the upcoming The Black Spider movie. This isn't even a Sony/Marvel spinoff Venom film either!
Episode 253 - Relic v. The Relic, Part 2: The Relic (1997)
Closing arguments in the case of Relic v. The Relic. When a giant brain eating monster takes the stand you better pay attention, and the gang breaks down what surprisingly still holds up from a movie from the 90's. Do they act like a "latte" is an insane thing to drink? Sure, but you come for the Stan Winston creatures, not the nostalgia.
Episode 252 - Relic v. The Relic, Part 1: Relic (2020)
In one of the greatest debates in film history, the gang sits down to get to the bottom of the case of Relic v. The Relic and declare an indisputable winner. Will an Australian grandmother covered in black mold take home the trophy, or will it go to the 15 foot long Gecko/Tiger/Beetle monster? 2020's Relic takes the stand today, and the revelations are shocking.
Episode 251 - 250th Episode Omphaloskepsis Spectacular, Part 2
The omphaloskepsis continues (and ends) as the gang looks back on another hundred episodes of horror. They laugh, they cry, they drink some beverages. Here's to another 250, despite your protestations and lamentations.
Episode 250 - 250th Episode Omphaloskepsis Spectacular, Part 1
Man, did you ever think we'd make it to 250 episodes? I don't know why you'd doubt it, because when you put out an episode almost every week for 5 years it happens naturally. Some might say that looking back at our earlier episodes is an exercise in navel gazing, but we prefer to call it omphaloskepsis, thank you very much.
Episode 249 - What We Talk About When We Talk About Slashers
Do you watch slashers for the kills, or to relate to the characters? In case you don't think the gang has covered enough slashing on the show yet, here's another 20 minutes of talk about the genre as a whole. We heard you liked slashers, so we put some slashers in your slashers.
Episode 248 - Slashers 7: Prevenge (2016)
Most serial killings end with a death, but what if all it took to stop one was… a birth? If David Berkowitz was told to kill people by an unborn baby instead of a dog, you’d have something like the 2016 dark comedy slasher Prevenge. Actually, if Spike Lee had made Summer of Sam as a comedy starring a pregnant lady set in England he probably wouldn’t have been nominated for “Worst Supporting Actor” at the Stinkers Bad Movie Awards.
Episode 247 - Slashers 6: The Last Matinee (2020)
A lot of folks have been avoiding going to the theater recently, not because of covid, but because of the throat slitting slashers. The gang buys a ticket for the 2020 South American Giallo/Slasher “The Last Matinee,” and let’s just say their wallets weren’t the only thing gouged. Think less “Blood and Black Lace” and more “Blood and Butter Popcorn” as the vibe. Did your hosts spring for the extra large with extra butter? You know they did.
Episode 246 - Slashers 5: Tragedy Girls (2017)
The slashing continues with a film that asks, “What if there was a slasher movie, but the slashers were… girls…” Tragedy Girls is exactly that, and doesn’t even contain the cringy Diablo Codyesque dialogue you might expect of a dark teen film like this. Is it dark satire? Well, that depends on your tolerance to the definition of “satire” I suppose.
Episode 245 - Slashers 4: Cherry Falls (2000)
Sharpen your knives, the boys are back on a slasher kick. This week’s entry, the never theatrically released (back when that meant something) Cherry Falls. Is it a sexually independent youths film with a slasher? Is it a slasher movie where everyone on screen is DTF every other character, including blood relatives? Or is it just a illogical mess? And what’s up with that giraffe tattoo? Listen and find out!
Episode 244 - Classic Monster Metaphors
Monsters. Metaphors. Mishigas? The boys break down the metaphors that classic monsters are supposed to represent, and provide modernized/better examples of them. You’ll never believe what JR thinks the aliens from ‘This Island Earth’ mean!
Episode 243 - Can they make a good Resident Evil movie?
Resident Evil. Resident Evil: Apocalypse. Resident Evil: Extinction. Resident Evil: Afterlife. Resident Evil: Retribution. Resident Evil: The Final Chapter. Resident Evil: Welcome to Raccoon City. Each worse than the one before it, but what if a good Resident Evil movie was made?Resident Evil. Resident Evil: Apocalypse. Resident Evil: Extinction. Resident Evil: Afterlife. Resident Evil: Retribution. Resident Evil: The Final Chapter. Resident Evil: Welcome to Raccoon City. Each worse than the one before it, but what if a good Resident Evil movie was made?
Episode 242 - Horror Roundup, February 2022, Part 2
Sans Mai Tai’s, the boys round up some more horror in another episode. Nightmare Alley, Brand New Cherry Flavor, Hellbound, Antlers, No One Gets Out Alive, and House. That last one is the movie with the scary cat face on the poster, not the zombie hand ringing a doorbell one you remember off the VHS box at the video rental place of your youth.
Episode 241 - Horror Roundup, February 2022, Part 1
The boys are back on their horror nonsense with a roundup of how they spent their winter break. Spoilers, it was by watching American Horror Story Season 9, Midnight Mass, Woodlands Dark and Days Bewitched, Squid Games, The Devil Below, and Superdeep. Apparently breaks are the time to watch miniseries…