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The Business of Nachos
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The Business of Nachos

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Heroes of Nachos: Scholz Nacho Revolution Militia

July 15, 2019 Nachonomics

Let’s say that every Tuesday for the past 50 years you had visited the same restaurant and gotten an order of nachos. One order of nachos a week, 52 weeks a year, 50 years, that’s 2600 orders of nachos. Pretty impressive when it’s put like that. But what would happen if the restaurant decided to change their menu, and that change involved removing nachos from it entirely? Would you switch to ordering something else? Would you start going to a different restaurant that sold nachos? Or would you, like this certain group of Austinites, band together into the Nacho Liberation Forces and try to get them returned to the menu? You can guess what a group worthy of the “Heroes of Nachos” title would choose.

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In 2019 Tags Heroes of Nachos
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Heroes of Nachos: Trini Martinez

June 25, 2019 Nachonomics

What did you do for your twenty third birthday? I don't know for sure, but I'd bet probably something pretty stupid. I guarantee it wasn't filling a child's swimming pool with 25 bags of chip, 20 pounds of beans, 6 gallons of queso and 30 pounds of pico de gallo to create a pool of nachos. That is unless your name is Trini Martinez, and the particular one that made a pool of nachos as well.

Birthday idea 1: Keg. Lame. Birthday idea 2: Fill a kiddie pool with queso. Better, but like a 7, and we can make it a 9. Birthday idea 3: Fill a kiddie pool with nachos. And there's the money. "I was thinking 'aww, man, I should've just bought the keg,'" Martinez said. "But, everyone ate it, it was gone — gone by the end of the night [...] they were so stoked, they loved it." The words of a hero.

Some said they were "too soggy", or "unsanitary". Others on Youtube said they were "a germ and bacteria melting pot", or "bacteria nachos", or "While watch this is gross people pee and sneeze in the pool". Do you think Trini cared what they said? No, and that's why he is a nacho hero.

In 2019 Tags Video, Heroes of Nachos
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Nachonomics: ('na-cho-'na-miks)

noun. The branch of knowledge concerned with the production, consumption, and distribution of nachos.

Book: Complete Nacho Knowledge Book: Complete Nacho Knowledge
Book: Complete Nacho Knowledge
$20.00

A copy of "The Field Guide to Nachos", "Nachos & You", and "Recipes from the Nachonomicon". This is literally and literately all the nacho knowledge you will ever require.

The Field Guide to Nachos, a pocket sized reference to the history, types, and background of the greatest of Mexican delicacies.

  • READ... The true story of how Ignacio Anaya created "The Nacho" in 1943.

  • LEARN... How nachos moved from Mexico and spread across America like shredded cheese melting across a pile of chips.

  • KNOW... the real difference between natural cheese versus pasteurized processed cheese product. It's terrifying.

  • DIFFERENTIATE... between kinds of popular nachos that are to be found in our modern restaurants.

Nachos & You, a pocket sized manual on, well, living your life the nacho way.

  • READ... The "true" story of how Gentleman Frank Liberto (Not to be confused with the upstanding Frank Liberto of Rico's or the Frank Liberto of Martin Luther King Jr. assassination infamy) created "The Nacho" in 1976. I say "true" because it is an obvious satire and parody.

  • LEARN... To pickle your own jalapenos for varying degrees of “fun” and “profit”, but more importantly bragging rights on being more artisinal than your friends.

  • KNOW... The science of creating nachos with circular chips as opposed to triangular chips and when to use each so as to not cause embarrassing cultural faux pas.

  • EXPERIENCE... The terror of “Nacho Fingers”, and the joy of curing yourself of them to avoid being ostracized by the community at large.

Recipes from the Nachonomicon, a pocket sized cookbook of all the finest types of nachos from throughout the ages, all now easily available at your fingertips.

  • READ... The History of the Nachonomicon and how it became the blueprint for all the nachos you know and love today!

  • LEARN... How to cook the finest examples of each member of the nacho family from "Artisanal" to "Single Serving." (There's no general type of nacho that begins with "Z" so that's as good as it gets alphabet wise, and I wouldn't want to trick you into thinking there was a type of called "ZBBQ Nachos" or something.)

  • KNOW... The joy that comes of making you, or a loved one, a delicious meal of nachos that will both satiate your hunger and allow you to know the true satisfaction of being able to provide the sustenance to keep a human being alive.

  • TASTE... Nachos, and lots of them, once you make them of course.

With these three books, you can feel secure in the knowledge that you'll be able to give a T.E.D. talk on every single aspect of nachos. Probably closer to three T.E.D. talks as a matter of fact! Do they even let you do that? I don't know, but with nacho knowledge like yours you will undoubtedly be the first!

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