Heroes of Nachos: Trini Martinez

What did you do for your twenty third birthday? I don't know for sure, but I'd bet probably something pretty stupid. I guarantee it wasn't filling a child's swimming pool with 25 bags of chip, 20 pounds of beans, 6 gallons of queso and 30 pounds of pico de gallo to create a pool of nachos. That is unless your name is Trini Martinez, and the particular one that made a pool of nachos as well.

Birthday idea 1: Keg. Lame. Birthday idea 2: Fill a kiddie pool with queso. Better, but like a 7, and we can make it a 9. Birthday idea 3: Fill a kiddie pool with nachos. And there's the money. "I was thinking 'aww, man, I should've just bought the keg,'" Martinez said. "But, everyone ate it, it was gone — gone by the end of the night [...] they were so stoked, they loved it." The words of a hero.

Some said they were "too soggy", or "unsanitary". Others on Youtube said they were "a germ and bacteria melting pot", or "bacteria nachos", or "While watch this is gross people pee and sneeze in the pool". Do you think Trini cared what they said? No, and that's why he is a nacho hero.

ANOTHER SUPER BOWL!!!

It’s that time of year again: the time when there’s the big game in that sport you don’t follow with one team you don’t know and another you don’t like. The other possibility is that it’s your favorite sport and your two favorite teams are playing so that no matter which wins, you win! Either way, here we are, ANOTHER Super Bowl Sunday, and you need to be making some nachos ASAP for your big ol' party tonight. Foolishly you STILL have not picked up a copy of Recipes from the Nachonomicon, and no way would it get to you by tonight even if you ordered it now (but you should still try), so what are you going to do?

Last year we spoke of the benefits of one Harley Morenstein and Epic Meal Time when it comes to gigantic volumes of a certain food, such as the above $1,296/399,593 calorie nacho meal. Harley you may have sen in such films as Kevin Smith’s Tusk, or Kevin Smith’s Yoga Hosers, or the Kevin Smith segment of Holidays, and is definitely a character who doesn’t get enough credit, but perhaps you can spiritually do so by checking out any of the somewhat more reasonable nacho recipes below? Or just go crazy and spend the $1,296, because you probably have a tax return coming right? Go Football!

SSSUUUPPPEEERRR BBBOOOWWWLLL!!!

So here we are, Super Bowl Sunday, and you need to be making some nachos ASAP for your big ol' party tonight. Foolishly you did not pick up a copy of Recipes from the Nachonomicon, and no way is that going to get to you by tonight, so what are you going to do? Well if you have $1,296, want to eat 399,593 calories, or dip your chips in a plastic bin of dip, you can whip up a batch of the above nachos, or you can peruse the Epic Meal Time back catalogue below for something perhaps a little more reasonable to sup upon. It's up to you, but right here we have literally saved you dozens of clicks trying to compile all these! More time for Go Footballing!

VIDEO: Ruin that diet!

Here it is, five whole days (well, 4 and 5/12ths) into 2018, and how is everyone doing? Make some New Year's resolutions? Resolve to maybe eat a little better this year? Maybe eat less nachos than in 2017 so that when you go get your yearly physical your doctor doesn't yell at you because your blood is so thick with grease and cheese?  Well if you haven't already given up on dieting and eating better and living healthier and exercising more, feel free to do so now, because look at these babies! There's no cheese and there are apples, so that's healthy right? The only person you'd be lying to is yourself if you had some... could you live with that?

SSSUUUPPPEEERRR BBBOOOWWWLLL!!!

So here we are, Super Bowl Sunday, and you need to be making some nachos ASAP for your big ol' party tonight. Foolishly you did not pick up a copy of Recipes from the Nachonomicon, and no way is that going to get to you by tonight, so what are you going to do? Well if you have $1,296, want to eat 399,593 calories, or dip your chips in a plastic bin of dip, you can whip up a batch of the above nachos, or you can peruse the Epic Meal Time back catalogue below for something perhaps a little more reasonable to sup upon. It's up to you, but right here we have literally saved you dozens of clicks trying to compile all these! More time for Go Footballing!