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The Business of Nachos
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Essay: Candy Nachos

October 5, 2013 Nachonomics
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Ladies and Gentlemen, there is a problem in the world, and it's our stupid patent system. Normally I just bitch and moan about these kinds of things and never do anything about it because it doesn't mess with my life at all, but now it's hit home. It's hit nachos.

1. (WO2013052659) CANDIED TORTILLA CHIPS, NACHOS, AND CORN CHIPS

For those of you not familiar with the BS legalese that this document is spouting, here is the handy summation of what this jerk wants to patent: 

Claims.jpg

So in a nutshell, if you ever want to put any sort of sweet topping on some chips, you're out of luck. Say you wanted to caramel glaze some chips and throw on some apple chunks for a delicious desert at your nacho restaurant, well think again! Good luck trying to pull that off without forking over some cash.

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There are a lot of stupid patents these days, so many so that there is now a huge push to stop patent trolls and stupid patents.  Patenting food is just dumb. If you want to invent a propriety flavor or chip topping that's one thing, but flat out claiming that combining two foods is your sole idea, pure bullshit. A world in which nacho innovation isn't hindered by patent regulations isn't a world I want to live in.

In 2013 Tags Essay
← Nachos Time: Nachos in the News - Baseball, Stadium Nachos, Taco Bell, and Hate CrimesReview: Brew City →

Nachonomics: ('na-cho-'na-miks)

noun. The branch of knowledge concerned with the production, consumption, and distribution of nachos.

Book: Complete Nacho Knowledge Book: Complete Nacho Knowledge
Book: Complete Nacho Knowledge
$20.00

A copy of "The Field Guide to Nachos", "Nachos & You", and "Recipes from the Nachonomicon". This is literally and literately all the nacho knowledge you will ever require.

The Field Guide to Nachos, a pocket sized reference to the history, types, and background of the greatest of Mexican delicacies.

  • READ... The true story of how Ignacio Anaya created "The Nacho" in 1943.

  • LEARN... How nachos moved from Mexico and spread across America like shredded cheese melting across a pile of chips.

  • KNOW... the real difference between natural cheese versus pasteurized processed cheese product. It's terrifying.

  • DIFFERENTIATE... between kinds of popular nachos that are to be found in our modern restaurants.

Nachos & You, a pocket sized manual on, well, living your life the nacho way.

  • READ... The "true" story of how Gentleman Frank Liberto (Not to be confused with the upstanding Frank Liberto of Rico's or the Frank Liberto of Martin Luther King Jr. assassination infamy) created "The Nacho" in 1976. I say "true" because it is an obvious satire and parody.

  • LEARN... To pickle your own jalapenos for varying degrees of “fun” and “profit”, but more importantly bragging rights on being more artisinal than your friends.

  • KNOW... The science of creating nachos with circular chips as opposed to triangular chips and when to use each so as to not cause embarrassing cultural faux pas.

  • EXPERIENCE... The terror of “Nacho Fingers”, and the joy of curing yourself of them to avoid being ostracized by the community at large.

Recipes from the Nachonomicon, a pocket sized cookbook of all the finest types of nachos from throughout the ages, all now easily available at your fingertips.

  • READ... The History of the Nachonomicon and how it became the blueprint for all the nachos you know and love today!

  • LEARN... How to cook the finest examples of each member of the nacho family from "Artisanal" to "Single Serving." (There's no general type of nacho that begins with "Z" so that's as good as it gets alphabet wise, and I wouldn't want to trick you into thinking there was a type of called "ZBBQ Nachos" or something.)

  • KNOW... The joy that comes of making you, or a loved one, a delicious meal of nachos that will both satiate your hunger and allow you to know the true satisfaction of being able to provide the sustenance to keep a human being alive.

  • TASTE... Nachos, and lots of them, once you make them of course.

With these three books, you can feel secure in the knowledge that you'll be able to give a T.E.D. talk on every single aspect of nachos. Probably closer to three T.E.D. talks as a matter of fact! Do they even let you do that? I don't know, but with nacho knowledge like yours you will undoubtedly be the first!

US SHIPPING ONLY

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