Nachos Time: Nachos in the News - A convenient mouthful of short form nacho news, topped with the cheese of truth, jalapeno slices of journalism, beans of education, and other toppings of various questionable informative analogies. We bring you nacho news one chip at a time.
Welcome to Nachos Time, for when nacho related things happen in the news, but nothing in depth to write a real article about. Here’s what’s been going on with nachos recently:
ON NACHO BEER
A lot of people ask me what type of beer you should eat with nachos, and my response it always the same, “Tequila”. That however may have to change...
"I'm feelin' low, You got any of that beer that has nachos floating in it, you know, Nachobrau?"
Technically this is just beer with a hint of jalapeno as opposed to beer with chips and cheese and jalapenos, but I trust Evil Twin Brewing to make something drinkable. No release date for the beverage yet, but I’ll be drinking it as soon as I can.
ON FOODS NAMED AFTER PEOPLE, SUCH AS NACHOS
As we all know, nachos are named after their illustrious creator, Ignacio Anaya. Here are some other foods named after folks, but you’ll only be interested by number 10, and how he can’t pronounce “especials”.
ON WEEKEND NACHOS
Chances are you’re not enough of a badass for the powerviolence/hardcore/grindcore band Weekend Nachos. It would be remiss to not mention them as they’re one of the top results that come up when searching for nachos, and they’ve just put out a new album. You can get two songs off of it, Satan Sucker and S.C.A.B., for free here. You can also purchase their sweet nacho merch here.
ON NACHO VIOLENCE
There has been a lot of nacho related violence in the news recently, “a lot” being two, which is still two more incidents than are normal in the news.
Hot liquid cheese used as weapon in attack on clerk
Perhaps that is one reason to enjoy some gas station nacho cheese, that it can also be used as a weapon. This is assuming that you enjoy eating weapons, which you may, I’m not here to judge you on your filthy aberrant behaviors. More horrifying however is the second tale of nacho violence.
Day care worker in trouble again for force-feeding child nachos
As in this was not the first time she had been force-feeding a child nachos? No, she is just in trouble for a second time, though this time it is for force-feeding a child nachos. Frankly though, if that kid didn’t want to eat those nachos and was going to let them go to waste, they kind of deserved it.
ON TOP CHEF NACHOS
Lastly, on Top Chef Masters recently the contestants were tasked with a re-interpretation of nachos. Chef Sang Yoon commented “I don’t think any country would claim nachos as their own. I’m not gonna make nachos.” making him the whiniest little nacho hater since Rick Bayless. The winner was some guy with a shrimp and powdered chip nonsense with salsa consomme, which is as about as nachos as the crumbs on the bottom of a bag of chips dumped on some meat served with a glass of salsa, in that it isn’t salsa, but whatever. There are artisanal nachos and then there are things that no unpretentious human would mistake for nachos.
You can read a much more catty description of the event on Entertainment Weekly’s site, or watch the episode on YouTube for two bucks.