Nachos Time: Nachos in the News - A convenient mouthful of short form nacho news, topped with the cheese of truth, jalapeno slices of journalism, beans of education, and other toppings of various questionable informative analogies. We bring you nacho news one chip at a time.
Welcome to Nachos Time, for when nacho related things happen in the news, but nothing in depth to write a real article about. Here’s what’s been going on with nachos recently:
ON NACHOS IN THE LOCKER ROOM, OR RATHER LACK THEREOF
Do you follow Basketball? Are you a fan of the Denver Nuggets? Are you wondering why they’re blowing all their games right now? (NOTE: As of when you read this they may not be, but right now The Internet is saying they’re sucking.) Well you can blame Coach Brian Shaw and his nacho crackdown. (Via The Denver Post)
“Shaw has searched for answers to their offensive woes in the first quarters of games. Last week, he walked through the locker room, saw players eating pizza and nachos and believed the poor diet to be the cause. So he picked up all the junk food and threw it in the trash.
The Nuggets had fresh salads with chicken breast and cold cut sandwiches before Monday’s game. The sluggish result was the same.”
See, removing nachos from your diet is a terrible idea. That’s the only explanation.
ON THE VELVEETA "SHORTAGE"
In what could be considered by some as a horror of horror and others as fearmongering used to drum up sales before the football playoffs, Kraft is claiming that due to a “shortage” of whatever non actual cheese product goes into Velveeta there could be run on the golden non-newtonian fluid for this upcoming Superbowl. OOOOHHH NNNOOOOEEEESS!!! Good thing actual cheese exists!
ON "PORTABLE" "NACHOS"
The new Grilled Stuft Nacho from Taco Bell. Everything you love about nachos grilled up in an all new way. Featuring "Evil Friends" by Portugal. The Man www.Facebook.com/portugaltheman www.Twitter.com/portugaltheman www.FeedTheBeat.com www.TacoBell.com
Taco Bell is at “it” again with their whole “portable nachos” kick, but much like how they confused their Beefy Nacho Burrito with a burrito nacho, they’re confusing a Grilled Stuffed Nacho with a sealed quesadilla filled with chips. Now, if they had used a chip for a shell instead of a tortilla they could argue a bit that it is, in fact, a stuffed nacho, but they didn’t, so it isn’t. Go home Taco Bell, you’re stoned and coming up with terrible ideas.
ON NACHOS DOWN UNDER
From our friends in Australia we have these easily purchased and cooked boxed nachos. Does that sound like too complicated a thing for you? Do you need a lengthy stop motion video to explain any nuances that could be confusing? Well here you go!
A delicious ready to go Nachos made with real cheese and tomatoes, containing no artificial colours or flavouring. Consisting of 75g pouch of Nachos Cheese Sauce, 80g pouch of Tomato Salsa and 75g packet Corn Chips. Eat em' hot or cold! Microwave whole pack for 30-40 seconds, let pack rest for 30 seconds before opening.
Labeled as the “fastest and tastiest nachos this side of the sierra” this makes me wonder if people in Australia actually know what the Sierra Nevada mountains are, or if it’s just a known catch-all for Mexican there? I know if something Australian was described as being the “fastest and tastiest X this side of the Great Dividing Range” that that would mean nothing, but I feel that as an American we really know nothing about other places, so who can say.