If you’re on vacation somewhere strange and looking for a place to eat, typically you’ll just stop at the first location you see that looks good. That said, restaurants have mere seconds as you drive by them to try to draw you in and therefor need to do anything they can to attract your attention. Gaudy paint job, unusual decor, or double entendre name with toeing the line sexual connotations are the typical ways to go, the latter being one of the most successful ways. Hooters, Salty Dick’s, Gonorrhea: The Restaurant, all places that could have caught my eye and sucked me in, but no. Today it way “I Got Your Crabs” that took my fancy, particularly because I felt bad for giving them crabs*.
I’m of the firm belief that anything you pull out of the dark and briney sea that isn’t a mammal is a hideous, writing or scuttling abomination not fit for human consumption or life. Just look at a crab, a terror considered one of the friendlier chitinous armored grotesqueries of the deep. Something this alien deserves to be destroyed on sight, a beast so foul that even Elagabalus would think was a little much to be served at one of his feasts. Even I, who would like to eat one of every animal on the planet in a beautiful order of polyfauna nachos, would normally give them a pass.
We as a species have decided to instead eat them by the ton daily the world over, along with all the rest of the disgusting things that perambulated in the hadal abysses. I didn't get it, and thought I never would. And I didn't want to.
But that was before I had these nachos.
Imagine if you will a pile of delicious crab Rangoon fried wonton shell chips, throw on some cheesy deliciousness, then some more crabby deliciousness, and then top with some topping deliciousness. I think the adjective I’m thinking of to describe them here is “Really Quite Tasty”. I might even go so far as to say “Damn, these are some great nachos.” because, damn, these were some great nachos. I’m not going to say that it was solely based on the crab meat that made it good, but there’s no denying how it improved the meal to such a degree that I’m going to have to change my opinion on them. And if I have to change my thinking on crabs and no longer consider them sea beetles, what else in my life deserves reconsidering? MAYBE IT IS MY WHOLE LIFE THAT NEEDS TO BE RECONSIDERED!
Nah, just crabs, although YOU should consider getting these should you be driving through the Outer Banks. You could stop and see where the Wright brothers first invented air travel, or stop and try to find the lost Roanoke Colony, but you need to make 100% sure to stop and get these nachos. Unless you’re allergic to shellfish, they you should really avoid the place. Probably most of the places in the Outer Banks too because there are crabs a plenty around, but only one place with crab nachos.
*I didn’t actually give them crabs. Come to think of it, they actually gave me crabs!