I’ve eaten a lot of bad nachos in my day in restaurants, and even more bad nachos in portable or make at home versions. The latter are never great, but today I wish that I had another batch of Lunchables Uploaded Nacho Walking Taco. Why would I wish that today? It’s because I had the chance, nay, misfortune, to sample Armour Lunchmakers Nachos. I mean just look at this garbage.
Again, this is another classic example of people confusing “nachos” with “chips and dip”. If they could have made it so you can tear off the salsa and cheese sections so you could dump them on top of the chips, well, then we could talk. That’s not the case though, and the fact that you’ve got to lift and dip the chips, wrong, wrong, wrong.
Seriously, look at that nonsense. Why even bother? You’ve got salsa with the barest hint of flavor, cold bland nacho cheese, and tiny stale chips. I get these are supposed to be for children, but if this is what we’re submitting our children to these days no wonder the world is in the state it is. Really, how much do you have to hate your children to feed them these?
But wait, there is also a box of Nerds! Because when I think of a candy that goes with nachos, I instantly think of “Gotta-Have Grape” flavored Nerds. To be fair, I don’t think I’ve had Nerds in more than 20 years, so it was a little treat to have them again, but after eating the box I wondered since they came with the nachos, was I supposed to use them as a nacho topping?
Could the secret behind turning these nachos from really bad to good simply be the addition of sprinkling these “Gotta-Have Grape” Nerds over the top of them? Could such an abomination really be the taste that would make the difference? Sure, it SOUNDS disgusting, but why would the good people of Armour Lunchmakers make some cheap food that was disgusting? I trust them implicitly to make something delicious, so I guess I’ll just have to get them again and give it a try! I’m totally going to do it right this second! I’ll let you know how that turns out!
I kid, I’m never going to do that. And neither should you. Don’t buy these unless you hate yourself. And if you hate yourself, please get some help, you’re really a cool person. You are worth it. Unlike these nachos.