Mike’s Donuts & Chicken of Kenosha Wisconsin recently made both Internet and nacho history by producing the first ever nacho donut. Not being a native Wisconsinite and finding myself in the area I could not pass up an opportunity to try one of these, and looking up the menu online (Hey all restaurants, if you have a website, put your damn menu on it) and seeing actual nachos on it, get those too. Dinner and dessert were to all have been taken care of, but it was not meant to be.
But as you can see, this is not a review of the nacho donut (apparently that was either a one off or limited time thing) or of Mike’s Donuts & Chicken. See, I had thought I was going to Mike’s Donuts & Chicken, but the menu I was actually looking at was for Mike’s Chicken & Donuts Bar, which is in the same building, but the other side of the floor that Mike’s Donuts & Chicken is on. HOWEVER, by walking up to the second floor to eat I was entering Mike’s Sportsbook & Meat Bar, a completely different restaurant I wasn’t even aware of as being part of the Mike’s Donut/Chicken empire. Confusing? I sure know I was, but maybe this is just old hat if you are a regular. I was not, but Mike’s Sportsbook & Meat Bar had nachos too, and that’s what matters!
As a “Meat Bar” it had the sort of fair one would expect; steaks and brisket and chicken and fish, etc., including one sandwich by the name of “Meat Sweats” which I wish I had tried, but alas, my life, my love, and my lady are nachos. Holding true to their meaty roots they did top their nachos with pulled pork, the second greatest of all nacho toppings, so I was sold. And thusly those nachos were in turn sold to me.
The nachos were delicious, especially accompanied with their breakfast bottomless mimosas. Note, they were delicious BEFORE consuming 7 mimosas, not BECAUSE of consuming 7 mimosas, in case you’re trying to find a loophole. However, there did arise a problem I have never before encountered with an order of nachos and hopefully would never again, and it was all due to the cheese.
If there is a state in America known more for its cheese than Wisconsin, I don’t know what it might be. I mean, Vermont is probably up there, and maybe New York too, but neither of those are populated by a tribe of people known as “Cheeseheads”, which was originally a slanderous term towards Dutch people. Indeed, the very cheese used by Ignacio Anaya in the first order of nachos came from “America’s Dairyland”, which, if you hadn’t guessed, is Wisconsin. All this cheese history aside though, what happened with these nachos was… unnatural…
The first chips were consumed without issue, but the longer the nachos sat the thicker the cheese became until finally there came a point where a chip was lifted and all the cheese and toppings refused to come with it. Same with another, and another. It turned out that either (A) the cheese had affixed to all the toppings, but none of the chips, resulting in a topping blob, or (B) somehow the chips began to defy all the laws of physics by becoming frictionless during the course of the meal, but I suppose we will never know for sure. While it doesn’t get much more delicious than a gooey mass of pulled pork, cheese, and toppings, sadly that conglomeration does not an order of nachos make.
So by all means, get the nachos, they’re delicious, but they are probably best consumer quickly before the state change in the cheese goes into effect. I do wish I had gotten the Meat Sweats sandwich, so maybe you should get that as well so that you don’t have the regrets that haunt my dreams every time I sleep. Also, be sure to save room for a donut or two, and maybe you’ll even luck out and get to experience the nacho donut should you show up on one magical day when they make it.