Listen, I'm going to get real with you. I'm turning my baseball cap around, I'm sitting backwards in my chair, and I'm going to be honest with you. I know as much about Nachos as I don't know about basketball. As you can imagine, this makes the whole March Madness thing kind of awkward. Almost as awkward as the lack of nachos in basketball in general.

What I do know is that while baseball is known as the much slower and lower point scoring game, I sure do see a lot more stuff in the news about horrible accidents involving a fan getting covered in nachos trying to catch a ball, or having a ball land in their nachos there than in basketball. Could this be due to the fact that sports like basketball, or hockey or football for that matter, do not involve a ball traveling tens of miles an hour hurtling into a crowd of spectators and nacho eaters? Yes, I think that is pretty obviously the reason why that is the case. Instead all you get basketball player millionaires going out of their way to eat their fans nachos.

I get that March Madness is about college students and that there is some controversy about them not getting paid money, so we are not talking about millionaires here, but you don't see any of them chowing down on some fans nachos. Seriously, I tried to find March Madness nacho incidents and the above was it, and I don't even think Kevin Durant is a college basketball guy! Perhaps these students are just more aware of the health issues of various stadiums across our fair country and that is the reason for the lack of nacho eating among them? You decide, but keep in mind, I know nothing about basketball or March Madness, including if these are even stadiums they play in.

Have I mentioned I don't know what I'm talking about here? That being said though, bet all your money on the Tar Heels. Well, all your money minus whatever it costs to get an order of nachos while you wait, but just don't get them at Tropicana Field in St. Petersburg FL or the Verizon Center in D.C.