Once upon a time a young lad went to the beach up in York Maine. The water was too cold to go in. The beach was to crowded. He was sunburned. The little arcade on the boardwalk had a claw machine that you could catch live lobsters with, however they were the saddest looking jacked up lobsters you ever saw. The day was going to be a wash, until the lad saw a little restaurant on the Short Sands beach with the whimsical name of “Guac-n-Roll”. He had some nachos. He had a jalapeno margarita. He went home. The memory of this experience stuck with him through the years until finally the day came where he returned to York to find that while the lobster claw machine at the arcade was gone, “Guac-n-Roll” was still there, albeit having moved a few spaces down on the street. That young lad was me of course, and presented with a chance for a proper review I stood up to the challenge, or sat down at a table rather.
When I had previously visited Guac-n-Roll I probably went with either the Nacho Mama’s or the Nacho Papa’s version of the food, because I think that was all they had then. This time checking the menu online beforehand I saw they had increased their nacho menu to include the BLT Nachos, giving 3 times the options of most restaurants. When I arrived however I discovered a secret 4th option, The Meat Lovers Nachos, bring them to 400% nachotude. I say “secret” in that they weren’t announced online, but they were straight up listed on the regular menu so I can’t in any way say they are actually “secret”. It’s a nice surprise if you’d only seen the menu online and walk in the door to see them, as I of course did.
These were a literal pile of meat on chips, but in a good way. We’ve all seen Arby’s Meat Mountain with 8 different types of meat (guaranteed to sort you out if perhaps you’ve eaten too many pot cookies the night before so I’ve heard), but it’s really not very good. It’s filling, yes, and tasty in the way that eating a lot of good things are, but they’re not complimenting each other. The titular meat of The Meat Lovers Nachos all works together for a common goal, being so delicious that you feel like you want to eat the whole thing in one sitting, even though it’s a tray of nachos that no person should consume in one shot. Never eating a whole tray full of anything in one shot is a good way to live your life.
Not much else to say about these. As they’re about 90% meat, 90% of discussion of them is covered, but the other 10% of sour cream and pico de gallo does nicely to cut the meat flavor. This is not a meal for vegetarians. This is not a meal for meat likers. This is a meal for meat lovers, and if that’s not you you should probably get something else. Still get that jalapeno margarita though, unless you have some sort of issues with alcohol or need to pilot a plane immediately afterwards, in which case please do not.
This is not the Guac-n-Roll of your youth, this is not your mama’s or daddy’s Guac-n-Roll, but these aren’t bad things. York Beach has changed a lot over the years, and restaurants will as well. Guac-n-Roll’s nachos used to come on plates, and now they come on a tray. That’s progress! I would say that alone is worth the price of admission even before you take a scrumptious meat medley into account, but your mileage may vary if you’re someone who only goes to Maine to eat lobster. Maybe one day they can get a lobster claw machine of their own, and then they can smash up the lobster to be the 5th meat for your nachos.