When it comes to Star Wars I might not be an expert, but I can tell my Jar-Jar from my Tauntaun, because I was a child when those came out. Children remember stuff like that and dinosaur names and truck types and whatever you have space in your head for when you don’t need to worry about a job or a life. I was not a child when Harry Potter came out, but I still read all those books and watched the movies because I am a human being living in America following the cultural wave that was the whole wizarding phenomena. That being said, I couldn’t tell you a whole lot about the ol’ Potterverse mythos, but I am aware of the non-alcoholic wizard beer for wizard children known as “Butterbeer”. That’s right, just because you’re a wizard child who doesn’t drink Coke products doesn’t mean you can’t get diabetes or heart problems. Now though, or the end of the month rather, you as well can also get diabetes and heart problems, along with nachos, at a Butterbeer and Nacho food truck!
Should you find yourself in Kaysville, Utah, be sure to check out the new food truck “Butter3eer and Nachos”, or maybe it’s “Buttereer and Nachos”? It’s a bit trickier when you need to disguise it a little to avoid the trademark lawyers and all. If there is a big Mac or Whopper of the Harry Potterverse, that’s your Butterbeer, but could you name any other food from the series? Not their gross candies than no reasonable human would eat, I mean real food. Sure, maybe they have some griffin wings or Roast Beast or something, but there are definitely no nachos mentioned. So when I see that there is a food truck promoting Butterbeer and nachos, and that all the Facebook posts are about the caliber of the Butterbeer, AND the signage on the front of it only mentions the beverage, I’m sure they have that down. What I’m not sure of and need to question is their commitment to nachos though.
If you weren’t aware, in Harry Potter the wizarding world doesn’t really innovate human technology, just make worse “wizardy” versions of things that regular people have already invented. People invent flavored jelly beans, so wizards invent magic jelly beans that can be any flavor but seem to mostly be gross ones. Why not just make all good flavored ones? Why not just make a candy that is the best tasting candy you ever had every time? People invent the horse drawn buggy, so wizards invent a magic flying buggy pulled by flying horses. Why not just make a flying buggy without the need for horses? Or why not just teleport around everywhere? If wizards were to make nachos you would hope they would be made of magical corn chips, topped with dragon meat and cheese made from the milk of a unicorn, but would undoubtedly be wizarded up with something much grosser and stupid. Each of the ingredients would probably be alive and you’d need to answer their riddles before you could eat them or some garbage like that.
According to the Harry Potter wiki, which doesn’t even have a page on nachos, the only notable thing about Mexico is that they were in the Quiddich World Cup in 1809. Indeed, it is unknown if Mexico even has a wizarding school or if Mexican wizards are forced to attend the Ilvermorny School of Witchcraft and Wizardry in Massachusetts, USA, which is over 2100 miles away. Does J.K. Rowling hate Mexicans, or is this just a cultural “oversight”, like her issues incorporating Native Americans into the Potterverse? Either way, nachos ain’t getting no respect by wizards.
The closest thing we currently have to a Harry Potter restaurant is the Leaky Cauldron at The Wizarding World of Harry Potter at Universal Studios and that is just English pub food. With no nacho template in the whole wide wizarding world, “Butterbeer and Nachos” can really set the standards for what “Wizard Nachos” might be. I just hope that they will be given the same love and respect that the Butterbeer/Butter3eer/Buttereer obviously was, although perhaps a little more “Patron” than “Patronum”.