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A Tale of Two New Taco Bell Nachos

January 5, 2019 Nachonomics

Because we have in the past made such outrageous accusations about Taco Bell like that they’re ok but you can do better if you want to spend a few bucks more, we’ve been accused of being Taco Bell haters who loathe the common man. Apparently approving of their tasty new Nacho Fries or thinking that they don’t need to give out free nachos just because someone gives birth in their parking lot don’t count for anything, but hey, that’s the internet for you! So perhaps it will blow your mind when we say that there is not one, but in fact TWO new Taco Bell nachos that we are actively looking forward to!

The thing about Taco Bell is that everything tastes like Taco Bell. This makes sense logically as as a fast food place you want as few ingredients as possible in order to cut down on costs, but it also doesn’t provide you with much variety when it comes to your flavor profiles. All this could be about to change, like your opinions on our view of Taco Bell, with two new nachos currently in test markets: the Buffalo Chicken Nacho Box and the Cheesy Jalapeno Nacho Box.

Now the Cheesy Jalapeno Nachos don’t appear to be much different than their current or previous nacho offerings, other than that they now come in a box, but the Buffalo Chicken ones, that’s a different story. “Buffalo”, as far as I can tell, is a brand new flavor to the restaurant chain, and if it’s not, I don’t want to hear about it because if they weren’t on nachos it doesn’t matter. As we have stated on numerous occasions when it comes to the hierarchy of meat on nachos buffalo chicken is number one with a bullet, so Taco Bell finally getting on that wagon is news to be shouted from the rooftops. Does the fact that you can currently only get these at select test restaurants located in North Carolina or Wisconsin diminish that some? Yes, yes it does, as is always the sadness that comes from not living in a test location city. But does the fact that it would be foolish of Taco Bell to NOT run these into mass production at every restaurant give pause for hope? Yes, yes it does.

Is this change going to issue in a whole new world of Taco Bell flavors? Probably not, as that’s not really how long lived fast food restaurants work. If these do well you can expect to see more buffalo chicken food options; buffalo chicken quesadillas, buffalo chicken tacos, and so forth. If those do well maybe at that point we’ll see another new flavor introduced, then more food options of that flavor, and so on and so forth. You can’t mix things up too much for fear that you will alienate your old customers, but you want to have enough new and exciting items to attract the new hip young ones as well. It’s a delicate dance, but you don’t stay in business for 70 years by not learning it.

This past Halloween Burger King introduced the Nightmare King, a burger containing both a beef patty and a chicken patty, and then bacon for a veritable edible Noah’s Ark. Bacon has always been a topping, but combining a cow and a chicken on one sandwich is something that had never been done in their 65 year history. Burger King has always been known for their crazy creations, but there’s no reason Taco Bell can’t get on this train as well. Buffalo Chicken is an obvious choice, but that’s not so many steps away from a Meat Medley Nachos with beef and chicken and steak, and maybe thrown on some pulled pork if it’s a KFC/Taco Bell location. As the only restaurant that really has a hold on fast food nachos, they can set the bar for what “fast food nacho” are. So far they have been adequate, but it is within them to be so much more. You can do it Taco Bell, apply yourself. We believe in you.

In 2019 Tags Essay
← Play With Your Food: Spikey Sam's NachomaniaOBLIGATORY END OF YEAR POST, 2018 →

Nachonomics: ('na-cho-'na-miks)

noun. The branch of knowledge concerned with the production, consumption, and distribution of nachos.

Book: Complete Nacho Knowledge Book: Complete Nacho Knowledge
Book: Complete Nacho Knowledge
$20.00

A copy of "The Field Guide to Nachos", "Nachos & You", and "Recipes from the Nachonomicon". This is literally and literately all the nacho knowledge you will ever require.

The Field Guide to Nachos, a pocket sized reference to the history, types, and background of the greatest of Mexican delicacies.

  • READ... The true story of how Ignacio Anaya created "The Nacho" in 1943.

  • LEARN... How nachos moved from Mexico and spread across America like shredded cheese melting across a pile of chips.

  • KNOW... the real difference between natural cheese versus pasteurized processed cheese product. It's terrifying.

  • DIFFERENTIATE... between kinds of popular nachos that are to be found in our modern restaurants.

Nachos & You, a pocket sized manual on, well, living your life the nacho way.

  • READ... The "true" story of how Gentleman Frank Liberto (Not to be confused with the upstanding Frank Liberto of Rico's or the Frank Liberto of Martin Luther King Jr. assassination infamy) created "The Nacho" in 1976. I say "true" because it is an obvious satire and parody.

  • LEARN... To pickle your own jalapenos for varying degrees of “fun” and “profit”, but more importantly bragging rights on being more artisinal than your friends.

  • KNOW... The science of creating nachos with circular chips as opposed to triangular chips and when to use each so as to not cause embarrassing cultural faux pas.

  • EXPERIENCE... The terror of “Nacho Fingers”, and the joy of curing yourself of them to avoid being ostracized by the community at large.

Recipes from the Nachonomicon, a pocket sized cookbook of all the finest types of nachos from throughout the ages, all now easily available at your fingertips.

  • READ... The History of the Nachonomicon and how it became the blueprint for all the nachos you know and love today!

  • LEARN... How to cook the finest examples of each member of the nacho family from "Artisanal" to "Single Serving." (There's no general type of nacho that begins with "Z" so that's as good as it gets alphabet wise, and I wouldn't want to trick you into thinking there was a type of called "ZBBQ Nachos" or something.)

  • KNOW... The joy that comes of making you, or a loved one, a delicious meal of nachos that will both satiate your hunger and allow you to know the true satisfaction of being able to provide the sustenance to keep a human being alive.

  • TASTE... Nachos, and lots of them, once you make them of course.

With these three books, you can feel secure in the knowledge that you'll be able to give a T.E.D. talk on every single aspect of nachos. Probably closer to three T.E.D. talks as a matter of fact! Do they even let you do that? I don't know, but with nacho knowledge like yours you will undoubtedly be the first!

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