Another year, another opportunity to get something for the nacho lover in your life. But what? That is the age old question, but fret not. Time and time again we’ve pulled your buns out of the fire with great nacho gifts, and we’re doing it again now!
A copy of "The Field Guide to Nachos", "Nachos & You", and "Recipes from the Nachonomicon". This is literally and literately all the nacho knowledge you will ever require.
The Field Guide to Nachos, a pocket sized reference to the history, types, and background of the greatest of Mexican delicacies.
READ... The true story of how Ignacio Anaya created "The Nacho" in 1943.
LEARN... How nachos moved from Mexico and spread across America like shredded cheese melting across a pile of chips.
KNOW... the real difference between natural cheese versus pasteurized processed cheese product. It's terrifying.
DIFFERENTIATE... between kinds of popular nachos that are to be found in our modern restaurants.
Nachos & You, a pocket sized manual on, well, living your life the nacho way.
READ... The "true" story of how Gentleman Frank Liberto (Not to be confused with the upstanding Frank Liberto of Rico's or the Frank Liberto of Martin Luther King Jr. assassination infamy) created "The Nacho" in 1976. I say "true" because it is an obvious satire and parody.
LEARN... To pickle your own jalapenos for varying degrees of “fun” and “profit”, but more importantly bragging rights on being more artisinal than your friends.
KNOW... The science of creating nachos with circular chips as opposed to triangular chips and when to use each so as to not cause embarrassing cultural faux pas.
EXPERIENCE... The terror of “Nacho Fingers”, and the joy of curing yourself of them to avoid being ostracized by the community at large.
Recipes from the Nachonomicon, a pocket sized cookbook of all the finest types of nachos from throughout the ages, all now easily available at your fingertips.
READ... The History of the Nachonomicon and how it became the blueprint for all the nachos you know and love today!
LEARN... How to cook the finest examples of each member of the nacho family from "Artisanal" to "Single Serving." (There's no general type of nacho that begins with "Z" so that's as good as it gets alphabet wise, and I wouldn't want to trick you into thinking there was a type of called "ZBBQ Nachos" or something.)
KNOW... The joy that comes of making you, or a loved one, a delicious meal of nachos that will both satiate your hunger and allow you to know the true satisfaction of being able to provide the sustenance to keep a human being alive.
TASTE... Nachos, and lots of them, once you make them of course.
With these three books, you can feel secure in the knowledge that you'll be able to give a T.E.D. talk on every single aspect of nachos. Probably closer to three T.E.D. talks as a matter of fact! Do they even let you do that? I don't know, but with nacho knowledge like yours you will undoubtedly be the first!
US SHIPPING ONLY
The foundation of all nacho knowledge, you can’t even call yourself a nacho fan without owning them. Are we biased because we wrote them and they pay for this website to keep going? Of course not, we’re just saying that this is a definite must own for nacho lovers, the relatives of nacho lovers, people who ate nachos that one time at the ballpark because they were the cheapest thing, or anyone with $20. Listen, there are other nachos books out there you could give people… if you’re some kind of square who wants to support big business by giving a book on nachos that any chump could buy off of Amazon that is. Other books are going to give you half a page on nacho history, a bunch of recipes you aren’t going to make, and that’s it. Mediocre. With COMPLETE NACHO KNOWLEDGE you get all that, plus a second book of nacho history AND a third on nacho philosophy. Quite frankly, it is all the nacho knowledge you will ever need. Complete nacho knowledge even.
Is there a better way to brainwash children into a love of nachos than through a children’s book about the tastiest of foods? I think not, which makes the fact that a children’s book about the history of nachos exists so convenient! Also it is insane how good it is and how jealous I am that I did not write it myself, which is high praise when it comes to all things nachos. Highest recommendation.
Everybody needs socks. Why not make yours nachos socks?
Nacho Ring
The first thing you have to get upon becoming a nacho magnate is a big ol’ nacho pimp ring. Unfortunately when Nachonomics came into being such a thing did not exist, but when we asked Snash Jewelry if they could make one they said, “Sure”. For a while there was only one bespoke nachos ring, and it was constantly beset by Nazgûl, but now it looks like they sell them to just anyone so you could get your own. Just know it’ll take more than a mere ring to make you a nacho magnet. Even if you can now get it encrusted with jewels and diamonds.
Carolina Reaper Salsa
We’ve talked about Mrs. Renfro’s Ghost Pepper Nacho Cheese Sauce before, but now we’ve got to talk about her newest and far more evil child, Carolina Reaper Salsa. She’s a mean, mean lady that Mrs. Renfro, but you’ve been bad too, and this is exactly what you deserve. Or if not you, someone that would enjoy a good prank gift that will kill them if they try and eat it. What a jape!
Nacho Cheese Candle
Have you ever made nachos but didn’t feel like your place smelled nachoey enough afterwards? Ho boy, has The Stinky Candle Company got something for you! You can also get Corn Chip smell so if you light them both you can get the perfect nachotude combination so your house smells of nachos 24/7. Of course you can also get other delicious flavors like Gasoline, Rotting Flesh, 2020, and Spawn of the Devil, but that’s up to you.
Memphis BBQ Nachos Kit from Charlie Vergos' Rendezvous
Do you have $109 and 6 to 8 adults in need of nachos from “The Best Barbecue Joint in Tennessee” more than your $109? Well thanks to the internet and COVID-19 making us realize that anything can be delivered anywhere, you can have that at your doorstep with free shipping in 2 days! Whether you consider that a deal is up to you, but it certainly is a thing you could do!
That’s it. That is everything worth talking about when it comes to nacho items to give your loved ones. If you find something else please let us know, but if these don’t satisfy the nacho lover in your life, probably nothing other than an order at their favorite restaurant will. Can you live with that?