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Review: Chill

June 5, 2020 Nachonomics
Tortilla Chips, Melted Three Cheese Blend, House-Made Tomato & Corn Salsa, Cilantro Crema Drizzle, Jalapenos, Steak

Tortilla Chips, Melted Three Cheese Blend, House-Made Tomato & Corn Salsa, Cilantro Crema Drizzle, Jalapenos, Steak

Some people think pizza boxes are just for pizzas. Not so. They are also one of the best mechanisms for transporting a to-go order of nachos from point A to point B. Now this won’t work for every order of nachos of course, any pile of chips in, well, a pile, are going to get smashed against the inside of a pizza box. You need some sort of hat box for that kind of meal. No, you need an order that’s a single layer of chips covered in cheese, almost like a pizza itself, to really maximize the space. Fortunately Chill’s Chill Nachos fit the bill.

Sometimes you luck out and work will pay for a dinner of yours, and that’s how I ended up at Chill, with the Chill Nachos. These are not to be confused with Chilli Nachos, which aren’t a thing here, or Chill Nachos with Chili, which also aren’t a thing, or Chill Chili Nachos, which are not a thing as well but should be just for the name. Sadly there was nary a chili to be found on the menu at all (Outside of a Pork Fried Dumpling with Thai Chili Sauce), but for nacho toppings they did have avocado, chicken, shrimp, steak, and lobster. You saw that picture above, you know what I went with.

As all our meals are “to-go” for the time being I was left sitting in the passenger seat for a ride home with a pizza box full of nachos getting my nethers all hot. Not hot and bothered (I love me some nachos, but not that much) just hot temperature wise. What was I supposed to do, leave them in my lap cooking me up or open it up and dig in and start eating? You look at those spicy little jalapenos, that juicy barely cooked steak, that hot and drippy cheese… oh, maybe I am getting bothered now…

So I did what any sane person would do, drizzle on that cilantro crema and start going to town on those ‘chos while blasting 75 down the highway. Maybe it was the speed, or maybe it was the cheesy steak and corn I was shoving down my throat, but there was some especially tasty in these fellers. Steak heated until you can barely call it cooked, thin layer of chips so every bite is covered in cheese and toppings, and just the right amount of corn, totally Goldilocks. Corn on top of corn chips usually takes nachos into a corn overload zone and thusly I have overlooked it over the years, but I think it may need a critical reexamination after this dish. Or maybe this was just the best example of corn on corn out there and all others will just let me down. Who can say.

I don’t know what percent of the dish made it all the way home, but it wasn’t a very high amount.
I would get these again for sure, I think mostly to try the lobster so I can be a real fancy lad. A real fancy lad whose cholesterol would be off the chart after a meal of oily chips, oily cheese, and buttery lobster… On second thought, maybe I’ll just stick with the steak. I’ll just be sure that someone else is driving in case I get any… urges… again on the way home.


 

CHILL

In 2020 Tags Review
← Review: Chill, Part 2 - The Lobster NachosEssay: Nacho Science - What Percent of you is Nachos? →

Nachonomics: ('na-cho-'na-miks)

noun. The branch of knowledge concerned with the production, consumption, and distribution of nachos.

Book: Complete Nacho Knowledge Book: Complete Nacho Knowledge
Book: Complete Nacho Knowledge
$20.00

A copy of "The Field Guide to Nachos", "Nachos & You", and "Recipes from the Nachonomicon". This is literally and literately all the nacho knowledge you will ever require.

The Field Guide to Nachos, a pocket sized reference to the history, types, and background of the greatest of Mexican delicacies.

  • READ... The true story of how Ignacio Anaya created "The Nacho" in 1943.

  • LEARN... How nachos moved from Mexico and spread across America like shredded cheese melting across a pile of chips.

  • KNOW... the real difference between natural cheese versus pasteurized processed cheese product. It's terrifying.

  • DIFFERENTIATE... between kinds of popular nachos that are to be found in our modern restaurants.

Nachos & You, a pocket sized manual on, well, living your life the nacho way.

  • READ... The "true" story of how Gentleman Frank Liberto (Not to be confused with the upstanding Frank Liberto of Rico's or the Frank Liberto of Martin Luther King Jr. assassination infamy) created "The Nacho" in 1976. I say "true" because it is an obvious satire and parody.

  • LEARN... To pickle your own jalapenos for varying degrees of “fun” and “profit”, but more importantly bragging rights on being more artisinal than your friends.

  • KNOW... The science of creating nachos with circular chips as opposed to triangular chips and when to use each so as to not cause embarrassing cultural faux pas.

  • EXPERIENCE... The terror of “Nacho Fingers”, and the joy of curing yourself of them to avoid being ostracized by the community at large.

Recipes from the Nachonomicon, a pocket sized cookbook of all the finest types of nachos from throughout the ages, all now easily available at your fingertips.

  • READ... The History of the Nachonomicon and how it became the blueprint for all the nachos you know and love today!

  • LEARN... How to cook the finest examples of each member of the nacho family from "Artisanal" to "Single Serving." (There's no general type of nacho that begins with "Z" so that's as good as it gets alphabet wise, and I wouldn't want to trick you into thinking there was a type of called "ZBBQ Nachos" or something.)

  • KNOW... The joy that comes of making you, or a loved one, a delicious meal of nachos that will both satiate your hunger and allow you to know the true satisfaction of being able to provide the sustenance to keep a human being alive.

  • TASTE... Nachos, and lots of them, once you make them of course.

With these three books, you can feel secure in the knowledge that you'll be able to give a T.E.D. talk on every single aspect of nachos. Probably closer to three T.E.D. talks as a matter of fact! Do they even let you do that? I don't know, but with nacho knowledge like yours you will undoubtedly be the first!

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