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The Business of Nachos
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The Business of Nachos

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Essay: In Defense of Simple Nachos

September 25, 2020 Nachonomics
Anayan Nachos

Everything these days needs to be fancier than in the past. Cell phones didn’t used to have a camera, and now they have a minimum of five. Razor blades used to just be a one bladed murder implement wielded by an orangutan, and now they have a minimum of five. Cars used to be horses. While improvements are good, sometimes the old ways are the best ways. Or at least equally delicious ways.

Take for example chips, cheese, and jalapenos, also known as the Anayan Nacho after their all powerful creator, The God-Emperor Ignacio Anaya. For all practical points and purposes these are the Ur Nachos (We’re not getting into Chilaquiles here) from which all fancier versions have spawned. Some items spawn better versions further down the line because their beginnings were so awful and not tasty, but not here. These neanderthal ancestors of nachos were so good that the only logical thing to do was to add more stuff to see if they’d taste ever better. And they did.

20200914_184521.jpg

When trying to figure out why this simple combo of three foods is so good you used to just be able to say it was because the food was a combination of the 4 tastes. And then they changed it to 5 tastes. And then maybe 7? And now Wikipedia has 15 listed, so who knows anymore? What it all comes down to is basically your chips are salty, your jalapenos are spicy, and your cheese is fatty, you look up all the fancy names and decide yourself if they’re warranted or if taste namers are just getting pedantic.

Just because there’s a better version of a thing doesn’t mean that the original thing isn’t equally as good. You might not be aware but tasty things from 1943 can still be just as tasty in 2020, and three really good things combined can sometimes be as tasty as a dozen pretty good things combined. Just don’t swap out the tortilla chips with potato chips, because there’s a very good reason potato chips, cheese, and jalapenos never took off. They’re not good, that’s why.

Buffalo Potato Chip Nachos
In 2020 Tags Essay
← The Dreaded ChipbominationEssay: The Rise of Seattle's Totchos →

Nachonomics: ('na-cho-'na-miks)

noun. The branch of knowledge concerned with the production, consumption, and distribution of nachos.

Book: Complete Nacho Knowledge Book: Complete Nacho Knowledge
Book: Complete Nacho Knowledge
$20.00

A copy of "The Field Guide to Nachos", "Nachos & You", and "Recipes from the Nachonomicon". This is literally and literately all the nacho knowledge you will ever require.

The Field Guide to Nachos, a pocket sized reference to the history, types, and background of the greatest of Mexican delicacies.

  • READ... The true story of how Ignacio Anaya created "The Nacho" in 1943.

  • LEARN... How nachos moved from Mexico and spread across America like shredded cheese melting across a pile of chips.

  • KNOW... the real difference between natural cheese versus pasteurized processed cheese product. It's terrifying.

  • DIFFERENTIATE... between kinds of popular nachos that are to be found in our modern restaurants.

Nachos & You, a pocket sized manual on, well, living your life the nacho way.

  • READ... The "true" story of how Gentleman Frank Liberto (Not to be confused with the upstanding Frank Liberto of Rico's or the Frank Liberto of Martin Luther King Jr. assassination infamy) created "The Nacho" in 1976. I say "true" because it is an obvious satire and parody.

  • LEARN... To pickle your own jalapenos for varying degrees of “fun” and “profit”, but more importantly bragging rights on being more artisinal than your friends.

  • KNOW... The science of creating nachos with circular chips as opposed to triangular chips and when to use each so as to not cause embarrassing cultural faux pas.

  • EXPERIENCE... The terror of “Nacho Fingers”, and the joy of curing yourself of them to avoid being ostracized by the community at large.

Recipes from the Nachonomicon, a pocket sized cookbook of all the finest types of nachos from throughout the ages, all now easily available at your fingertips.

  • READ... The History of the Nachonomicon and how it became the blueprint for all the nachos you know and love today!

  • LEARN... How to cook the finest examples of each member of the nacho family from "Artisanal" to "Single Serving." (There's no general type of nacho that begins with "Z" so that's as good as it gets alphabet wise, and I wouldn't want to trick you into thinking there was a type of called "ZBBQ Nachos" or something.)

  • KNOW... The joy that comes of making you, or a loved one, a delicious meal of nachos that will both satiate your hunger and allow you to know the true satisfaction of being able to provide the sustenance to keep a human being alive.

  • TASTE... Nachos, and lots of them, once you make them of course.

With these three books, you can feel secure in the knowledge that you'll be able to give a T.E.D. talk on every single aspect of nachos. Probably closer to three T.E.D. talks as a matter of fact! Do they even let you do that? I don't know, but with nacho knowledge like yours you will undoubtedly be the first!

US SHIPPING ONLY

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  • Read With Your Mouth (1)
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  • Where's The Beef? Vegan Views (1)
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  • Interview (2)
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  • Nachonomics (28)
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