The Bison (Bison bison), commonly known as the American Buffalo, is a majestic beast that has roamed the Great Plains of Earth for tens of thousands of years. Great creatures of legend and mystery, these terrestrial ungulates have stampeded into the hearts and minds of humans the world over. So when I heard of a place where they could also stampede into my stomach (via my mouth and not via smashing its horned head through my flesh thankfully) I would have been a fool to pass that up.
Ted’s Montana Grill is a chain I had ever heard of, despite there being one a town over, meaning there could very well be one a town over from you that you had never heard of. But who is this “Ted” you ask? Why, none other than the media mogul, Jane Fonda lover, and buffalo riding maniac Ted Turner.
And he sure hates redheads and hippies
Now upon hearing you could get buffalo at a local restaurant I would have gone no matter who the Ted was, but after learning that it was an establishment of Mr. Turner I wanted to go exactly the same amount as I did before. Thinking about it, there are many ways that Ted and I are alike, our media empires, our love of Fondas (Him Jane, me Bridget), but the most prominent is that we both find buffalo as delicious as they are deadly. I rolled the dice on them having nachos, and Ted being a man after my own heart obliged me, with the vengeance of a buffalo defending its pups, or cubs.
They were tasty, but nothing special for chili nachos, even if it was bison chili. What was delicious though was the blend of pepper jack and nacho cheese upon them. This was not your average, run of the mill, shitty nacho cheese, this was the good stuff, no doubt rendered from actual cheese and not pasteurized processed cheese product. Fake nacho cheese can generally be given a pass in my book, but when it’s made from the real stuff, totally acceptable.
Other bonus, they had a rare and elusive huckleberry margarita, something I had never seen, tasted, or heard of, before. Perhaps you can savor the specific taste of the huckleberry, but I would have to say it tasted like mixed berries, but not bad. All in all, not bad would be the words I’d use to sum up my entire experience there. Not bad, but not great.
One piece of complete BS however. Buffalo is more expensive than cow, so anything made from it is going to be a little more expensive, which I can accept. However, in addition to nachos they also sold an $18 burger, which is complete shit. Buffalo isn't twice as good as beef (It’s 1.2 times better tops) so there's no reason a simple burger should cost twice as much. If you have Ted Turner scratch and want to throw it away on a burger like that, go right ahead, but a plate of nacho will be half as much, four times more delicious, and never steer you wrong.