Two roads diverged in a wood, and I - I took the one lined in nachos and it led me to Nachonomics. I do sometimes wonder though what would have happened if I took that other road to making a website, which was also lined in nachos coincidentally, and now I have an answer; the site would have been I Enjoy Nachos.
Prior to I Enjoy Nachos I knew so very little about Philly, other than it’s always sunny there, they have the Mutter Museum, and that their sports fans are legendarily out of their goddamn minds. Unbeknownst to me, that city with that bell also has a rich history of, well, history, and nachos, not all of which are covered in steak and cheese. Check out these babies:
“I’m not sure, but I think these may have just been cheese flavored pork rinds. Their taste was very similar to the bag the were sold in: bright yet deceptively empty.”
“Consider this; a world where all foods peacefully coexist with nacho ingredients. A world where nacho-flavored soda thrives. A world that does not judge me for requesting nacho cheese on my Caesar Salad. A world where Nacho Flavored Combos actually taste like nacho-flavored Combos. A world that exquisitely combines two of my favorite foods: nachos and pizza. But we do not live in that remarkable world (as of writing this post - fingers crossed).
Not yet.”
“Through my research to learn more about Jimmy Buffett prior to writing this blog I realized how little I actually knew about Jimmy Buffet. Let me ask you this: How many songs do you know by Jimmy Buffett? Probably just the 1, but maybe 2 at the most? What do you really know about the man except that he is a singer-songwriter? If he was walking down the street would you recognize him? If you were able to confidently answer any of these questions instead of my expected open-mouth silence then you are probably a “Parrothead.” And for that I’m truly sorry, so close your browser and have a shitty life. I can never unhear “Math Sucks.””
“The obvious question then is, “why?” Why order nachos on a regular basis from a species of food establishments that I know will ultimately disappoint? Well, I think there are two answers. The first being, “I don’t know. I’m a stupid.” The second being, “What if this is the place? What if this is the diner that prepares spectacular nachos and I was too much of a smug asshole to give them a try?” These are the questions that keep me up at night while I count nacho chips jumping over a fence into my mouth. Needless to say (as showcased above), this was not that place. But, my quest will continue until the day I am that lonely weirdo mumbling about nachos in the corner booth hoping anyone will listen. ”
“There are two types of people in this world: Those who once ate at Taco Bell and those who eat at Taco Bell. I understand and respect both camps equally. More so, I respect any restaurant chain that can sell me on a menu item with no description of ingredients but clearly identifies the weight. This is an obvious indication that I am about to embark on a journey that will test my strength, question my girlfriend’s choice of men, and ultimately allow me to self reflect in the bathroom mirror shortly thereafter.”
As you can see, I Enjoy Nachos is a zen koan topped with just the right amount of cheese. A fortune cookie with jalapenos. An inspirational poster your aunt posted to the walls of everyone’s Facebook with a warning that if you don’t post it on your friend’s walls in three hours you won’t be #blessed, broiled in an oven and served piping hot to you and your loved ones when you’ve gone out to eat and really just want some good nachos. I Enjoy Nachos is how I would write if I could write like that, which I can’t do, so you’ll have to just check them out instead if that’s more your cup of tea in that specific area. Perhaps one day all nacho related websites will be brought together under one glorious Nacho News Network Banner and the internet will truly have reached a nacho singularity, but until then though, if you plan on going to Philly, or just enjoying nachos in general, check out I Enjoy Nachos for your nacho needs.
Imagine this, but with a logo that wasn't banged out in 30 seconds on MS Paint, and that it linked to thousands of other amazing websites about nachos with quality as good as what you expect to find here.
