Let’s get this out of the way right up front: shortly after consuming this order of XXL Nachos at Taco Bell I had a spurting case of diarrhea. Ha ha ha, we get it, Taco Bell is low hanging fruit, but that poop was a fact. Now, this could just be a coincidence, I did get really sick not long afterwards with the flu, so it could have been that. I also hadn’t eaten at TB in years and my stomach was possibly not used to eating such food so it could have been like how my stomach was all jacked up that time I went to Costa Rica from eating food I wasn’t used to and needed to take the special pills the doctor prescribed me before I left to solidify things. The moral is that liquid was coming out of my butt, but that could be unrelated to eating there, or it might not be. You have been warned.
When I started that fateful day I wanted to go to Moe’s, which is probably the best fast food nachos you can get, but I forgot my free entree birthday coupon and sadly had to go to Taco Bell across the street instead. Still in a mood for ‘Chos, I settled for the brand new limited time XXL Nachos, which ultimately ended up being about 50 cents less that ones at Moe’s. Were they only 50 cents less good you ask? What do you think.
I got the nacho combo, which I assumed for the price would include some kind of side like their other combos, such as a taco, but it didn’t. By the way, having meals where a taco counts as a side is why the terrorists hate us. Then it turned out that the sign that said a large drink was only $1 more actually meant that it was one dollar more, plus whatever strange combo fee that was applied, so ultimately it was around $2 more. Taco Bell had got me coming, and I just assumed that it would catch me going as well. Going to the bathroom that is. To poop. Wetly.
So how were they? Well, they didn’t taste like Taco Bell, which is a plus because pretty much everything served at the TB has a distinct TB flavor to it, but it sure didn’t taste good either. I didn’t expect the steak to be the finest quality Kobe beef filet Mignon, but what I ended up with was some definite trash. The fact that fast food meat wasn’t great wasn’t a huge surprise, but what was an even greater disappointment was the chips.
Maybe people love Taco Bell’s take on corn chips to a degree I can’t possibly imagine and would freak out if they changed, like when McDonald's changed their fries, but these chips are weird puffed bad. I’m not sure what kind of markup Taco Bell needs on them but you can buy a bag of Santitas (The official chips of Nachonomics) for $2 which would make probably 5 orders of these XXL nachos. That’s 40 cents of chips per order, and I’m sure that TB could make a deal with them to get them for cost which would probably be 20 cents. If you told me that TB had less than 20 cents worth of chips in these nachos I would believe you, but at the same time I would gladly pay 20 cents more to get some premium chips rather than these things.
These things are basically just three piles of their smaller versions of nachos.
There is nothing special about them.
Don’t get these nachos at Taco Bell.
Don’t get nachos at Taco Bell.