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Review: Huber's Cafe

July 25, 2017 Nachonomics

Chips, Cheese, Black Beans, Sour Cream, Scallions

Established in 1879, Huber’s Cafe is the oldest restaurant in Portland Oregon, and boy does it look it. Not in a negative way mind you, but it does look like the sort of place a gangster in a period piece would get whacked. What I’m saying is that it’s the kind of restaurant your grandparents or great aunt would love, and while those places usually have great turkey dinners and meatloafs and steaks they are typically lacking in nachos. If there weren’t any nachos though, why would we be reviewing them here?

Let’s ignore the fact that the nachos aren’t part of the regular menu and are only a happy hour special, this is a classy place and shocking they’re available at all. Your one happy hour option is for Black Bean Nachos, which is about as basic an order as you can make, so you’re not really getting a dish that lives up to the class of the rest of the establishment. Are they bad nachos? Nope, but they’re also nothing special. There’s a good ratio of chips to toppings, black beans is obviously the right bean choice, and they aren’t soaking in a pool of grease and oil, all fine. There’s nothing that’s going to offend anyone’s sensibilities here, but these aren’t going to be anyone’s favorite nachos.

One has to assume the logic behind these is that Huber’s needed some kind of small, easy to make happy hour appetizer and some simple nachos fit the bill. Really though, why are you going to Huber’s to get nachos? Get a pork tenderloin or ribeye steak or manila clams, you know, something they recommend a wine to pair with. Huber’s Cafe goes squarely into the camp of restaurants that have nachos, but you don’t go there for the nachos. So if you do end up going there during happy hour, get some to go with your steak (realistically your grandfather is paying for the meal anyhow so go crazy) but make 100% sure that you get the Spanish Coffee when you do. I take it all back, forget nachos, the Spanish Coffee is the reason to go to Huber’s.

Spanish Coffee at Huber's; Portland, Oregon's oldest restaurant and bar.

 

Huber's Cafe

In 2017 Tags Review
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Nachonomics: ('na-cho-'na-miks)

noun. The branch of knowledge concerned with the production, consumption, and distribution of nachos.

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  • READ... The true story of how Ignacio Anaya created "The Nacho" in 1943.

  • LEARN... How nachos moved from Mexico and spread across America like shredded cheese melting across a pile of chips.

  • KNOW... the real difference between natural cheese versus pasteurized processed cheese product. It's terrifying.

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Nachos & You, a pocket sized manual on, well, living your life the nacho way.

  • READ... The "true" story of how Gentleman Frank Liberto (Not to be confused with the upstanding Frank Liberto of Rico's or the Frank Liberto of Martin Luther King Jr. assassination infamy) created "The Nacho" in 1976. I say "true" because it is an obvious satire and parody.

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