Sometimes when you have a sibling they want to go to some place to eat for their birthday, and you really don’t have a call about where because it’s not YOUR special day. Occasionally they want to go to some garbage place and you just have to go along and eat whatever garbage food they want, just because they were garbage born. Other times though they pick some place delicious to eat, like The Painted Burro.
Nestled deep in the sleepy hamlet of Somerville, upon entering the restaurant you are greeted by, well, most likely by a serve,r and a line, but after that some sweet, possibly Disney inspired, Mexican art. I’m not saying this is the kind of art I’d have on my walls if I had a Mexican restaurant (that would of course be a wall to wall tzompantli) but this would be pretty close.
But this isn’t faux-Mexican Artopedia, it’s yadda yadda yadda, I went and ordered the nachos, etc, etc, etc, you know how this works. BUT HOW WERE THEY??? Well, once I saw that you could get them with a couple of cooked eggs on top, I knew I was in for a treat.
It was some NachoProviCon back in the day where the owner of the Haven Brother Diner sold me on getting the fried egg on their Triple Murder Burger, and since I’ve had that bit of deliciousness I’ve never looked back. Here’s some solid advice: If you see anything you wouldn’t expect to have an egg on it and you have the option to add an egg, you get that egg added on top. Within reason of course. Having always been a fan of chilaquiles (the wetter, more breakfast version of the nacho) how could nachos with some eggs on top go wrong?
Well let me tell you, you can’t. While these weren’t chilaquiles, the fact that they had the eggs and the chorizo definitely made them seem chilaquile inspired, which is fine with me. The slaw was a nice touch for those who like a nice veggie to chip ratio but don’t want lettuce, save for one thing, the return of my old nacho enemy, the pickled carrot. The slaw was different than the dreaded escabeche, but if you thought you were going to wake up in a sane world where carrots belong on salads only and leave nachos alone, think again. If you’re going to throw something crazy like carrots or cauliflower or something else weird on your nachos, you absolutely need to list that on the menu. Nobody wants raisins on nachos, because they don’t belong on them either, but nobody is going to know to ask to not include them if you don’t mention them on your menu, BECAUSE RAISINS SHOULD NEVER BE PUT ON NACHOS! And neither should carrots. There was an easy way to take care of this situation though:
They’re only segregated in this bowl because there wasn’t a nearby garbage or fire to throw them into.
Now I went to The Painted Burro a few months ago, and when I look at the menu now it doesn’t looks like eggs are currently an option to add. Are they on the secret menu? Do you need to say the specific password to get them? Oh, wait, no, you only need to look at the brunch menu rather than the dinner menu. Does this mean though that you can’t get them on your nachos at dinner? SO MANY QUESTIONS!!! I don’t have answers, but rest assured that on my next visit I will, and they will be delicious. And carrot free.