Remember last year when you waited until the absolute last minute to get the nacho lover in their life something for Christmas and swore that this is the last time you’d wait so long to get your act together? Well I certainly do, which is why I’m making sure to get this 2018 nacho gift guide together for you ASAP so you’ll have a whole month to find something! And boy oh boy, is there a fresh crop of nacho things available for you on the internet this year. Things like…

A CHEESE ADVENT CALENDAR

Forget chocolate, this is the advent calendar for the true nacho lover. Should a tiny order of nachos that you get to eat every day exist I would say go for that, but it doesn’t, and never will because that’s inconceivable. This however is totally conceivable, albeit it hard to come by in the US. If you’re near a Super Target though, consider yourself lucky. They’re available here!

A 52” X 120” NACHO SIGN

What self respecting individual wouldn’t want this hanging in the front window of their home for all the world to see? I know I once argued with the manager of a 99 Restaurant to try and get their giant nacho sign once they were done with it, but they never let me have it. I’m still haunted by the loss to this day.

A NACHO DOOR MAT

As if people didn’t realize already from the giant 52” by 120” sign hanging in your front window, now they can tell by looking down at their feet as they walk in that maybe you are in fact for real someone who really loves nachos. Alternately, you can also show your dislike for bad nacho puns by wiping your feet all over this stupid pun. You should really be wiping your feet all over stupid nacho puns.

A NACHO PIN

People love pins today I hear! Maybe you put them on your jeans jacket or something? I honestly have no idea what the kids are doing with them these days, but if you do, or know someone who does, here’s a cute one.

A NACHO POOL FLOAT

If you would have asked me whether a nacho pool float was super cool or super dumb, I would have said super dumb. The more I think about it though… these are pretty sweet. Are they as good as a giant vinyl inflatable order of nachos? No, but again, we’re thinking up awesome imaginary things because that doesn’t exist, so this is the next best thing.

“THE NACHO MANIFESTO”

At first I thought this was just another one of those fly-by-night recipe books that will turn up on Amazon from now and then, but after doing a little research this is a real book! Is it a good real book though? Tune in next month to find out, but it is a NEW nacho book, and there aren’t nearly enough of those out there. Sure, the only TRUE nacho manifesto is “Nachos & You” available in the collection “ALL NACHO KNOWLEDGE”, but this could be a close second.

“ALL NACHO KNOWLEDGE”

And of course the real and greatest book/collection of complete nacho knowledge, “ALL NACHO KNOWLEDGE”. It’s right there in the name, it’s ALL the nacho knowledge! You really can’t beat “ALL”, except for maybe “ALL NACHO KNOWLEDGE + A LITTLE BIT MORE KNOWLEDGE THAT WE FOUND”, but that isn’t a thing either.

Well that’s it for this year. Really though, does someone who loves nachos need more than this? I think not.