I like Mezcal Tequila Cantina. I like Nachos. I like Barbacoa Pork. So when I last went to Mezcal Tequila Cantina and saw they had Barbacoa Pork Nachos on their menu I thought God had answered my prayers. Then I saw that there were plantain chips on them, with the possibility that they had used them to replace the corn chips, and thought it might actually be the Devil. This was a mystery I had to solve.
When it comes to banana-esque fruits, plantains are garbage. People are always like, “Oh, you don’t like a banana, a plantain is just as good.” Wrong. Plantains are bad and you’re a bad person for thinking otherwise. They’re no banana substitute and never will be. When that eventual banana plague wipes out the Cavendish and all we’re left with is the plantain as the next tastiest thing, well that’s the day I hang up my spurs on phallic fruits. The notion that someone would even dare put these reject bananas on nachos was almost beyond the pale. But this was Mezcal, and if there’s a restaurant that I trust to put a bunch of crazy ingredients together and have it turn out ok, it’s them. I ordered away.
One time Mezcal had a guacamole that was basically cookie pieces, butterscotch, and mashed up avocados. I thought that would be crazy, and it was… crazy delicious that is. I hoped this would be as good, and while it was not it was still pretty good. The barbacoa was great, the cheese and chipotle bbq really came together well flavorwise, and the pineapple salsa added a nice sweet kick to it. Then there were the plantains. I have to say that I didn’t hate them, but I wouldn’t rate them as anything more than just inoffensive. Fortunately they were just in addition to the regular chips and not a replacement, as that would have significantly decreased the overall nacho recommendation. If you’re a fan (first take a long hard look at yourself in the mirror because you have a problem) they’ll give you a nice little taste when you bite into one among your corn chips. If not (and sleep soundly knowing you are right in this world) prepare for a blast of something funky every now and then that will momentarily put a frown on your face. They won’t make these inedible by a long shot, but I have to believe the nachos would be greatly improved if they weren’t there.
I won’t dance around it, I would get these again in a second, with the caveat that I’d have them hold the plantains. If someone else ordered them with the dread fruit I would still eat them, without even picking them off as I would olives. So I guess what I learned is that plantains are not necessarily a deal breaker when it comes to nachos, and as bad as they are black olives are still much worse. If that’s not a ringing endorsement, I don’t know what is.