Some days you wake up, go down to the nacho well to get your tri-monthly commentary, reel up that old wooden bucket in expectation of some nice, cool writings, and find that it’s completely empty. Not just empty, but bone dry, and also a cow fell in and died down there, poisoning the whole thing. Yessiree, that well is a goner, and you need to find yourself a hot new nacho source, fast. Fortunately there is one nacho well that never runs dry, so I headed down to Taco Bell to try the new Grande Nachos Box.
Sadly, these are still not the Cheesy Jalapeno or Buffalo Chicken Grande Nachos Boxes we have mentioned previously, because Taco Bell are obviously cowards for not releasing those nationwide. No, these are just their regular seasoned beef or shredded chicken thrown on a box of nachos, which while not a negative thing is definitely a waste when you could have introduced brand new flavors. I had entirely forgotten that these had even been released as there had been so little fanfare, and if you can’t engage someone running a literal nacho website, how are you going to pull in the public? It was disappointing, especially because the nachos were not.
Firstly, it’s served out of a box, like all the best foods are. I’m not going to say that eating hot nachos out of a box is the same sort of exciting experience as eating a slice of pizza in the shower is, but it’s up there. The added bonus to the box is that you get to open it to find a tasty present inside, and when I opened this and saw some real nacho looking nachos inside it was quite the gift. Unlike their other offerings, these look pretty much like nachos you would find in a regular restaurant, and tasted like them as well.
One upping their standard Nachos Bellgrande meat/tomatoes/sauce/sour cream mix, these add shredded cheese, guac, and pico, creating a flavor profile that dances across the tongue. Not one that is going to win any prizes, but a dance never before experienced at Taco Bell nonetheless, and one that woke me up with a realization that maybe they were on to something here. There were toppings for days, but sadly not included was the defining ingredient of their Spicy Loaded Nacho Taco, the jalapenos, which was a huge mistake. I get I could have added them, but I shouldn’t have to, they should be included standard on all nachos as Ignacio Anaya intended. I’m not going to go overboard and make these the fast food nachos to die on, there were issues like a complete lack of layering and even with all the toppings the ratio of them to the chips was way off, but these are the most serious contender I’ve encountered to date.
I believe, no, I know these are the best nachos I have ever had at Taco Bell without a doubt. If they can keep this up and start delivering other unique flavors of nachos at a $5 price point they’ll cast aside the fast food stigma of them in no time. They have the market, they almost have the ‘chos, it’s up to them to lose at this point. Maybe The Belluminati can help them out…