Here we are, barely having recovered from The International Day of the Nacho when we are gifted with National Nacho Day! What have we done to deserve such hashtagged and non hashtagged blessings? How can this miserable world produce such goodness when all it has sowed in its blackened fields is pain and agony? That is the magic of nachos my friend.

If you consider the Nacho High Holidays (or “Nacho High Nacholidays” if you will) to be The International Day of the Nacho, National Nacho Day, Cinco de Mayo, and Ignacio Anaya’s Birthday (and we must) an even distribution would be a holiday every three months over the course of the year. Sadly, this is not the case. The 3ish months between Cinco de Mayo and Ignacio’s Birthday works in our favor, and the 2ish months between that and The International Day of the Nacho isn’t bad, but immediately getting National Nacho Day leaves us with a whopping six month wait until the next. Six months without a holiday related reason to eat nachos is a tough row to hoe.

If you’re “lucky” enough to work a 9-5 in the US and get your standard Federal holidays off you’ve run into this problem as well. Kicking off with Labor Day at the beginning of September you then have Columbus Day, Veterans Day, Thanksgiving, maybe the day after, maybe Christmas Eve, Christmas, New Years, and then maybe MLK Day in January. Four months have your lion’s share of days off, and then you’re stuck with Memorial Day and 4th of July to break up the other eight. Distribution is a problem all over the place (not just COVID related shipping delays, TOPICAL!) and whoever was planning these holidays in the first place should have sorted it out then, but what can you do now?

The only thing you CAN do is disassociate the need for a holiday to eat nachos, which should be easy. If you’re only eating nachos four time a year, I don’t even know what you’re doing here. But don’t let me nacho holiday shame/threaten you, eat them whenever you want. Just especially eat them today though. Or else.