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The Business of Nachos

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Review: Go Grande Pizzeria

April 15, 2020 Nachonomics

Steak, Cheese, Onions, Lettuce, Tomatoes, Salsa, Sour Cream, Chipotle Sauce

I, probably like you, am stuck in my home. Additionally I, probably like you, am also out of nachos in my home and have been forced to consult the internet to have nachos brought to me. Since I’m a square I hadn’t used one of these apps to get food delivered to me before, but then I saw that you could type “NACHOS” into GrubHub. Even better, it would then bring up EVERY RESTAURANT THAT HAD NACHOS IN THE AREA, MANY OF WHICH I DIDN’T EVEN KNOW HAD NACHOS IN THE FIRST PLACE. Forget this life, quarantine me forever. It can also find you Mac & Cheese Pizza.

I’ll admit, I came to Go Grande Pizzeria for the Mac & Cheese Pizza (and they have the best around) but when I saw they had nachos as well I couldn’t say no. Insert needed caveat on delivery order reviews with the obvious things like how the food is mashed up in a plastic container and how they’re a little cold because it took you so long to get to your home. But caveat not need, for not only were these not cold, but also surprisingly good, namely due to one thing that we’ll get to.

When ordering nachos from a pizza place you don’t expect anything special, so when these showed up and weren’t just Concession Nachos I was surprised. The menu didn’t mention anything about these other than “steak” and “salsa” and “sour cream”, so when there was also “lettuce” and “tomatoes” and “onions”, I gave an appreciative nod to the dish. Then there was the container of mysterious yellow stuff with the salsa and sour cream. Was it mustard? Some kind of golden BBQ sauce? I have no idea, but I want to say probably a chipotle sauce, and what I definitely NEED to say is that it was delicious. Every now and then you’ll get one specific thing that makes a meal sing, and boy was this it. I was so taken with this magic sauce that the next time I’m hit up the grocery story I’m going to add this golden chipotle to my condiment rogues gallery. Will it taste the same? Only time will tell…

Sadly Nachonomics is not receiving money from GrubHub, which may be good as there is probably something horrible about them that I am a monster now for recommending, but I’ve got to do it. There are so many nachos out there I wasn’t even aware of, and now I am. In these days you’ve got to do something to get through your waking hours, and now what I can do it eat a bunch more nachos I didn’t even know existed. Hopefully you can find some nachos you didn’t even know existed out there as well.


 

GO GRANDE PIZZERIA

In 2020 Tags Review
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Nachonomics: ('na-cho-'na-miks)

noun. The branch of knowledge concerned with the production, consumption, and distribution of nachos.

Book: Complete Nacho Knowledge Book: Complete Nacho Knowledge
Book: Complete Nacho Knowledge
$20.00

A copy of "The Field Guide to Nachos", "Nachos & You", and "Recipes from the Nachonomicon". This is literally and literately all the nacho knowledge you will ever require.

The Field Guide to Nachos, a pocket sized reference to the history, types, and background of the greatest of Mexican delicacies.

  • READ... The true story of how Ignacio Anaya created "The Nacho" in 1943.

  • LEARN... How nachos moved from Mexico and spread across America like shredded cheese melting across a pile of chips.

  • KNOW... the real difference between natural cheese versus pasteurized processed cheese product. It's terrifying.

  • DIFFERENTIATE... between kinds of popular nachos that are to be found in our modern restaurants.

Nachos & You, a pocket sized manual on, well, living your life the nacho way.

  • READ... The "true" story of how Gentleman Frank Liberto (Not to be confused with the upstanding Frank Liberto of Rico's or the Frank Liberto of Martin Luther King Jr. assassination infamy) created "The Nacho" in 1976. I say "true" because it is an obvious satire and parody.

  • LEARN... To pickle your own jalapenos for varying degrees of “fun” and “profit”, but more importantly bragging rights on being more artisinal than your friends.

  • KNOW... The science of creating nachos with circular chips as opposed to triangular chips and when to use each so as to not cause embarrassing cultural faux pas.

  • EXPERIENCE... The terror of “Nacho Fingers”, and the joy of curing yourself of them to avoid being ostracized by the community at large.

Recipes from the Nachonomicon, a pocket sized cookbook of all the finest types of nachos from throughout the ages, all now easily available at your fingertips.

  • READ... The History of the Nachonomicon and how it became the blueprint for all the nachos you know and love today!

  • LEARN... How to cook the finest examples of each member of the nacho family from "Artisanal" to "Single Serving." (There's no general type of nacho that begins with "Z" so that's as good as it gets alphabet wise, and I wouldn't want to trick you into thinking there was a type of called "ZBBQ Nachos" or something.)

  • KNOW... The joy that comes of making you, or a loved one, a delicious meal of nachos that will both satiate your hunger and allow you to know the true satisfaction of being able to provide the sustenance to keep a human being alive.

  • TASTE... Nachos, and lots of them, once you make them of course.

With these three books, you can feel secure in the knowledge that you'll be able to give a T.E.D. talk on every single aspect of nachos. Probably closer to three T.E.D. talks as a matter of fact! Do they even let you do that? I don't know, but with nacho knowledge like yours you will undoubtedly be the first!

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