Bill Murray. Guy Fieri. Nacho Cookoff. 5/15/20. 5pm EST.

Well 2020 may be a dumpster fire so far, but all that is going to change tonight. Bill Murry. Guy Fieri. Nacho cooking showdown. Presented by Tostitos, hosted by Carla Hall, judged by Shaquille O’Neal and Terry Crews. That is not a combination of words and famous people names I thought I would ever string together, but hey, 2020, everything is crazy now.

These guys, these two guys, and maybe their sons as well are also facing off, it’s hard to tell from the marketing and literature, not just to prove who has the best nachos, but also to help out restaurant employees out of work from this whole thing. According to Entertainment Weekly, "The Nacho Average Showdown" is live event to raise money for Fieri's Restaurant Employee Relief Fund (RERF), which gives financial assistance to employees impacted by the coronavirus shutdown. The Fund provides restaurant workers with $500 grants with 100 percent of donations going directly to RERF. About 8 million restaurant workers are currently unemployed. You know, I think I’ve finally got to come around on Guy Fieri in that he is proportionately as good a human being as he is doofy looking, and he is EXTREMELY doofy looking.

5pm. EST. Right Here. May the best man or men or father/son combo or whatever win.

Nachonomics: Year Eight

The year is 2052. COVID-49 has laid most of the world bare. For the survivors, between The War on Christmas, The Cola Wars, and The War of The War of the Roses (After Michael Douglas became the oldest president in 2048 at the age of 104, copies of his 1989 film “The War of the Roses” became worth their weight in gold) less than 0.00001 percent of the global population remains. The last public order of nachos was made in the New New Arlington Stadium shortly before it was destroyed by the Blood Wave of ‘51. It is an apocalyptic hellscape the likes of which the world has never seen, until of course humanity is completely wiped out by the molten glass rains a few years later. Good thing the Murder Hornets organized global hive government is here to inherit the earth…

The year is 2020. Nachonomics is entering it’s ninth year of nachos and I am only now realizing that when I say “Nachonomics: Year X” the X really means how many years we’ve been posting for. It isn’t currently an apocalyptic hellscape (yet) but we’re all making due with what we’ve got. I can’t say as that I predicted this time last year that the best I would be able to hope for is eating nachos from a restaurant 45 minutes after they made them because that’s how long it took to deliver, but here we are. Don’t worry though, Nachonomics has been here for you the past 8 (!!!) years, and will be here for another 8 still.

3 posts a month x 12 months x 8 years. That’s how many nacho posts you’ve gotten so far AT A MINIMUM, because sometimes you’ve gotten more than three posts a month FOR EIGHT YEARS. That’s a heck of a lot of nacho entertainment you’ve received over the years, and that doesn’t include the various podcasts, magazine interviews, and books as well. With Nachos NY giving up the ghost (and possibly even without it because I have no way to confirm now that their site has lapsed) Nachonomics is now the greatest source of all nacho knowledge on the entirety of the internet, AND WE AREN’T EVEN DONE YET. No, you have years more nacho content to come, even if every restaurant being closed for the time being isn’t helping things.

This is now. Things may be shaky, but one thing that is not is Nachonomics. We’ll be here with nachos as long as you will, and we plan on being here a very long time.. Hope you will as well.

Nachos in the Time of Corona

I’m not going to lie to you, when I copped out and wrote that “Plague Nachos” post a few weeks back I figured that would be it and we’d be back on schedule by now. Don’t know if you noticed, but we’re not. Chances are your nachos are not either.

I can’t say that people come here for advice on life, unless your life is nachos like us here, so here’s some nacho advice. All you might have is a can of refried beans and cheese sauce for your chips, but if you can put some green stuff on top of that you’ll increase how good it looks 10 fold. Probably due to the human eye being able to see more shades of green than any other color, but I’m no ophthalmologist

Anyhow, whatever your situation, nacho or otherwise, hope you’re doing well no matter your toppings. Unless that topping is bleach or something because that isn’t going to be a timely reference in a few days and humor is important in these dark days. Oh, also it will kill you if that’s something you’re concerned about.

Plague Nachos

Things are rough out there. You can’t see friends, you can’t go do things, you can’t go out to eat. Hell, good chance that the places you like to eat may not even still be there when all this is over. These are some dark times, no doubt about it.

But just because your grocery store may not have meat or eggs or toilet paper doesn’t mean you can’t have nachos. Sure, you may have to use two different kinds of chips because you don’t have enough of either one. Sure, you may have to use both the last little bit of shredded cheese and top it off with the leftover bacon queso you found in the back of the fridge. Sure, you may only have an 8th of a jalapeno and a few leaves of cilantro in a Tupperware for some reason unknown to you. But all those things combined, no matter how much of a mashemup it is, that’s nachos.

Things are rough out there, but we’ll get through it, and nachos in whatever form you want to call them will be there with you. Stay safe. Stay cheesy.